this may sound ridiculous, but I'm afraid I'm really odd or lying to myself and I have no idea where I might fit in.
The thing is: I'm not attracted to people who aren't attracted to me. Ever.
Sounds like I might be recipromantic, yes?
Well, yes and no.
It is probably accurate for how I work when relationships start - I have an acquaintance or ideally a friend, they express romantic/sexual interest in me, I figure a relationship with this person would be acceptable (and I hate being alone; it severely decreases my quality of life for various reasons), I hype myself up, and if we decide to enter a relationship, I put in the work to make it a good relationship. I grow to love them. Etc.
Thus far, recipromantic feels like it is a close enough description?
However.
If they clarify that they do not like me romantically (I can't read minds, obviously, I've been mistaken before), or the relationship ends because they lost their feelings for me:
I IMMEDIATELY lose all romantic feelings for them. And I do mean immediately.
(If I lose a friend in the process or have been otherwise hurt, of course I'll still be sad. But I've never wished that anyone would take me back, even if we had been in a relationship for a decent amount of time, because I wouldn't have those feelings for them anymore.)
And apparently that's not "how humans work"?!
I've been told that this sounds horrible, and that it doesn't work that way, or that I must be very cold-hearted and not have cared about them at all ... etc.
It's making me feel like there's something severely wrong with me.
Can anyone relate or has anyone heard of people with similar experiences?
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Guest Recipno
Hi everyone,
this may sound ridiculous, but I'm afraid I'm really odd or lying to myself and I have no idea where I might fit in.
The thing is: I'm not attracted to people who aren't attracted to me. Ever.
Sounds like I might be recipromantic, yes?
Well, yes and no.
It is probably accurate for how I work when relationships start - I have an acquaintance or ideally a friend, they express romantic/sexual interest in me, I figure a relationship with this person would be acceptable (and I hate being alone; it severely decreases my quality of life for various reasons), I hype myself up, and if we decide to enter a relationship, I put in the work to make it a good relationship. I grow to love them. Etc.
Thus far, recipromantic feels like it is a close enough description?
However.
If they clarify that they do not like me romantically (I can't read minds, obviously, I've been mistaken before), or the relationship ends because they lost their feelings for me:
I IMMEDIATELY lose all romantic feelings for them. And I do mean immediately.
(If I lose a friend in the process or have been otherwise hurt, of course I'll still be sad. But I've never wished that anyone would take me back, even if we had been in a relationship for a decent amount of time, because I wouldn't have those feelings for them anymore.)
And apparently that's not "how humans work"?!
I've been told that this sounds horrible, and that it doesn't work that way, or that I must be very cold-hearted and not have cared about them at all ... etc.
It's making me feel like there's something severely wrong with me.
Can anyone relate or has anyone heard of people with similar experiences?
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