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I've recently redefined my A status and would like to share. Now, I knew I was ace for like 3 years but romance was tricky. Most of the time I couldn't bother but then there'd be set moments that I be highly infatuated(in one instance, obsessed) with particular men. So I went around saying I was ace/homoromantic. But I haven't had an "episode" in a long time so I finally settled onto full A. Until recently(like 2 weeks ago) I just ignored that brief phase of off and on homoromantism. It is important to note that when the homorom bits went away, i would be terrified of actually kissing someone(as fits the rom-repulsed aro branch.) but then I was doing some casual inner monologue when I realized I was SUPER bored and was what I call nubby(romantic version of horny). I was like "Hm, connection?" and reviewed all the past crushes and homoromantic situations and found that yes, I never had anything else to do when the homorom fits came about(same with the occasional sexual bits). And that allowed me to finally redefine the borders of my A-ness.

 

I am, in fact, full A. But just like how one night stand people use sex as a game or something to keep them busy, I use romance. When I'm beyond bored I seek out exciting situations recklessly(part of an impulse control issue) and exciring situations usually fall under the list of "Things I Haven't Done Yet" which a lot of relationship things are on there. Not sure what you would actually define these odd branches of ace and aro as but I'll just say I use romance(and rarely sex) as sport rather than actual emotional connection/dependance.

 

Yay to defining orientation?

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I would be a little careful of your terminology- Us allosexual aromantics are just as much "a" as anyone else, and lately the aro community is trying to move away from terminology that implies that anyone's orientation is "more" or "less" something than someone else's, as it can be unintentionally pretty hurtful and gatekeepy. But I'm glad you figured things out, and welcome!

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1 minute ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I don't know what allosexual is.


Allosexual means “not asexual”- So, someone who experiences sexual attraction. For example, in my case, I’m aromantic and bisexual. So, while it is true that my experiences as an allo aro (allosexual aromantic) are very different from the experiences of an aroace, calling aroaces “full A” has a connotation of allosexual aromantics or alloromantic asexuals being “lesser”, like we’re not “real” aspecs or like our experiences aren’t as strong.

I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, since it sounds like something you just weren’t aware of, so I don’t hold it against you or anything, don’t worry. But it is something to be aware of in the future, now that you know.

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23 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:


Allosexual means “not asexual”

I feel like making an umbrella term for something that can just be said is unnecessary. I said "full" because I'm aware that most people aren't double A. Double A has less syllables than Asexual Aromantic but Full A has even less making it conventionally more convenient to say. Complicating things by making a third A orientation that's actually just an umbrella is obnoxious and unneeded. Much like cishets asking for a flag. Only the minorities get flag/special recognition simply because they have to try harder to be heard.

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Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I feel like making an umbrella term for something that can just be said is unnecessary. I said "full" because I'm aware that most people aren't double A. Double A has less syllables than Asexual Aromantic but Full A has even less making it conventionally more convenient to say. Complicating things by making a third A orientation that's actually just an umbrella is obnoxious and unneeded. Much like cishets asking for a flag. Only the minorities get flag/special recognition simply because they have to try harder to be heard.

 

Lmao what?? Ok wow, and here I was trying to be helpful by explaining to you how members of our community help support each other, since you're new to the community. I see now that you don't actually have any interest in being kind to your fellow aros. Unfortunate!

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1 minute ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

you don't actually have any interest in being kind to your fellow aros.

I was actually being explicitly kind and, as a compound point, I'm not even saying anything rude. I was simply stating that if, hypothetically, someone threw I fit that I said Full A because that's discriminatory towards 'allosexuals' I would make the above points. In a far less congenial manner, of course.

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Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I was actually being explicitly kind and, as a compound point, I'm not even saying anything rude. I was simply stating that if, hypothetically, someone threw I fit that I said Full A because that's discriminatory towards 'allosexuals' I would make the above points. In a far less congenial manner, of course.

 

It's not discriminatory towards allosexuals as in allosexual alloromantics (i.e. people who are neither ace nor aro). It's discriminatory towards allosexual aros (people who are aromantic, and experience sexual attraction) as well as alloromantic aces (people who are asexual, but experience romantic attraction). It implies that we are "less" than aroaces, which is not cool. Our experiences are real, they are just as strong as anyone else's. "Aroace" is a perfectly fine term to describe being aromantic and asexual.

You compared me, a bisexual aromantic, to cishets for asking that my experiences as an aromantic not be erased. I fail to see how that's being explicitly kind.

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2 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

 It implies that we are "less" than aroaces, which is not cool.

I apologize. I forgot other people had illogical connotations for certain words. 'Full' and 'half' aren't negative for me, they are statements of the status of something. Full isn't meant to imply the rest is half(ie. less). It is meaning that there is nothing but A.

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Just now, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I apologize. I forgot other people had illogical connotations for certain words. 'Full' and 'half' aren't negative for me, they are statements of the status of something. Full isn't meant to imply the rest is half(ie. less). It is meaning that there is nothing but A.

 

I can understand that, but regardless, those are the connotations that it has to others. The aro community as a whole is moving away from using such terminology, because many allo aros have spoken up about the fact that it hurts us. So, even if it doesn't seem hurtful to you, to others it is hurtful, so it's better to simply use another, less hurtful term to avoid mistreating and excluding other members of your community.

"Aroace" is generally the commonly used term to mean asexual and aromantic, and at only six characters, it takes the same amount of time to type as "full A"- even less if you consider that you don't have to use the shift key.

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8 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

"Aroace" is generally the commonly used term to mean asexual and aromantic, and at only six characters, it takes the same amount of time to type as "full A"- even less if you consider that you don't have to use the shift key.

I'm actually quite fond at using the shift key but yes, you make a compelling case. I will cease to use "Full A", I was only so against acearo because I wanted a term I invented to become popular. Sigh, pride will be my downfall.

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2 minutes ago, WrenIsNotMyRealName!! said:

I'm actually quite fond at using the shift key but yes, you make a compelling case. I will cease to use "Full A", I was only so against acearo because I wanted a term I invented to become popular. Sigh, pride will be my downfall.

 

Thank you for being kind.

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