whats happening?

[guyfrommars]

hi. recently i was just kissed by someone who likes me. it was my first kiss (i wasnt really interested in kissing) and it felt so weird. i never thought it would be great, but shoving him out of my house and brushing my teeth with dishsoap is not what i had planned. i always had admiration for others that i thought was a crush. but i know realize i never wanted anything from it. i just wanted to hangout more. i dont really want anything romantic. kissing and holding hands is platonic to me. but i wanna spend my life with someone i love. i just dont think that love will be romantic. does this make me aro? my sister suggested this. sorry if it was to long, im just super confused.

-a guy having issues

[hemogoblin]

Your sexuality isn't a diagnosis or test - it's not about being quantifiably [label], so other people can't tell you what label is best for you. That's totally self-determined. How you label is down to: how you want to label, how you're comfortable labeling, what label makes the most sense to you, what label helps you best communicate with others, what label best helps you connect with a community of people with similar experiences, etc.

 

Not wanting romance or anything romantic certainly sounds like an extremely good reason to explore what being aromantic might mean to you! Maybe check out Early Signs That You Were Aro and You Might Be Aro If... here on the forums and see how those threads make you feel and if you relate to anything in them.

 

I can tell you that your experience certainly gives me aro vibes, but I can't tell you if you're aro or if aro is the best label for you because that's something only you can decide. So what if you tried out calling yourself aromantic? What if you let yourself see how it felt after a couple months of doing so?

 

I don't want to throw too much information at you, but I think you might also be potentially interested in learning about queerplatonic relationships when you're ready. ^^

[guyfrommars]

8 hours ago, pressAtoQUEER said:

Your sexuality isn't a diagnosis or test - it's not about being quantifiably [label], so other people can't tell you what label is best for you. That's totally self-determined. How you label is down to: how you want to label, how you're comfortable labeling, what label makes the most sense to you, what label helps you best communicate with others, what label best helps you connect with a community of people with similar experiences, etc.

 

Not wanting romance or anything romantic certainly sounds like an extremely good reason to explore what being aromantic might mean to you! Maybe check out Early Signs That You Were Aro and You Might Be Aro If... here on the forums and see how those threads make you feel and if you relate to anything in them.

 

I can tell you that your experience certainly gives me aro vibes, but I can't tell you if you're aro or if aro is the best label for you because that's something only you can decide. So what if you tried out calling yourself aromantic? What if you let yourself see how it felt after a couple months of doing so?

 

I don't want to throw too much information at you, but I think you might also be potentially interested in learning about queerplatonic relationships when you're ready. ^^

Wow. Thank you for all the resources. seriously. 

what you said about labels rly spoke to me, as theyve always been hard for me to rly pin myself down. but i was always relying on other to pin it down for me. i think im gonna look into aromantism more instead of just asking everyone else. so thank you so much! i have so much to learn.