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someonemaybe

am I aro??????

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Am I aro? 

Make some time since I started to think about this. The truth is: I'm so confusing and I need some help bc I don't think my friends would understand. 

So, you need to know I'm bissexual but I never really fell in love with someone (I think) - when I was in my first years of teenager all my friends had a lot of crushs in their lifes and I never really had one. I used to think that I was wrong, yk, I needed to have one. So I kind of choose some boys to like (but that's the thing, did I really choose or did I like them?). 

In the middle of this period I remember to search if existed people who don't feel nothing romantic for any gender. I discovered: "yes", but never did something with this information. 

So, now, I'm 18 years old and in a kind of relationship with some boy - he likes me so much and in the beginning of this I thought I was felling the same way (I actually could imagine us having this couple future everyone talks about) but then this passed. Every time (all the time*) he wants to have this "romantic physical contact" (hold hands, hug, etc) I feel so uncomfortable. And now I'm feeling so guilty. 

 

Like I said, I'm so confused: am I aro?? Or just being a asshole in my relationship?? 

 

*I don't really care about physical contact when it's moderate, not all the time, not forever (hope you guys can understand this kk) 

 

Thank you for reading this. And Ik it's boring but sorry for my English. Please SAY SOMETHING. 

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I'm definitely not the right person to make assumptions, but - as an aro - I can tell you that I also lived this:

 

14 hours ago, someonemaybe said:

when I was in my first years of teenager all my friends had a lot of crushs in their lifes and I never really had one. I used to think that I was wrong, yk, I needed to have one. So I kind of choose some boys to like

 

and about your relationship, maybe you gotta ask yourself if what you feel towards him is just deep friendship, or if the problem is only about physical contact (I don't like physical contact either, as in holding hands, hugs, and stuff, but also don't ever imagine myself doing couple stuff with anyone, it just doesn't feel right to me) 

 

Hope this could be helpful! But in the end I guess it's up to you understand if you're aro, greyaro or else! Reading others' experiences on this site helps a lot, go take a look!

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15 hours ago, someonemaybe said:

Or just being a asshole in my relationship?? 

 

Having boundaries , aro or not , is not being an asshole.

 

Now… only you can tell if you feel like aro or grey-aro fit you. Aside the usual definitons, there is not really any doctor check list or something. But the aro spectrum is vast, and with many identities and feelings. Maybe reading them could help you? (here is some of them https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms. This site could, in general, be helpfull to you )

 

and also that https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq

 

(PS : i love your profile photo ! this comic was great. )

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