Crush?

[lLeane]

I have questions about crush and aromantism.

How would you define a crush? Is it obligatory a romantic attraction?

Can it be also a physical attraction?

Can physical attraction still be an aromantic trait?

 

(I'm new to this and still trying to understand where I stand, I hope your answers will be able to help me!)

[Guest]

1 hour ago, lLeane said:

How would you define a crush? Is it obligatory a romantic attraction?

 

Some crush can be platonic, if you see them as such. (it can mean many things ). But how would i define it? Hum.. being attracted in any way to someone i guess? "crush" is usually used for romantic feelings that being said.

 

1 hour ago, lLeane said:

Can it be also a physical attraction?

Can physical attraction still be an aromantic trait?

 

I am not exactly sure what you mean by that.

 

If you mean sexual attraction, yes.

If you mean sensual attraction, also yes.

(but again  i don't know how many peoples call them "crush". )

 

Well, it's not necessarily related to romantic feelings anyway.

 

But since you said you were new to this, i would understand if you don't quite see what i mean. (the different types of attraction )

 

Maybe this could help you ? http://www.arocalypse.com/index/

And this https://www.aromanticism.org/

 

 

[lLeane]

First thank you so much for answering!

I don't know if the terms I use are the right one, English is not my first language. ?

Tbh, I don't think I actually understand what a romantic feeling is... I've tried reading about it but it doesn't make sense to me ?...

 

As for "crushes", I've had a "crush" on guys I find good looking but I think only the looks attracted me. I couldn't see myself in a relationship with them tho. 

[Guest]

45 minutes ago, lLeane said:

First thank you so much for answering!

I don't know if the terms I use are the right one, English is not my first language. ?

 

No prob' (also, same it's not my first language, but some lists of words can be found , making some things easier to understand )

 

45 minutes ago, lLeane said:

Tbh, I don't think I actually understand what a romantic feeling is... I've tried reading about it but it doesn't make sense to me ?...

 

Me neither ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

45 minutes ago, lLeane said:

but I think only the looks attracted me

 

When it happen to me, i call it "aesthetic attraction" (or i don't call it at all but you see what i mean ). when i think someone is good looking. 

[nonmerci]

On 8/12/2019 at 4:40 PM, Cristal Gris said:

Some crush can be platonic, if you see them as such.

But then it's a squish no?

I won't use the word "crush" to talk about a non romantic attraction but I'm not an English native speaker. Anyway you can feel other types of attraction (sexual, sensual...) and still be aromantic.

[Guest]

57 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

But then it's a squish no?

I won't use the word "crush" to talk about a non romantic attraction but I'm not an English native speaker

 

Yeah, i don't call it crush either, when i call it at all. Then again, platonic can mean a lot of things (sensual? friends ? qpr ? )

[aro_elise]

yeah, platonic/queerplatonic is a squish.  personally, when i have a squish + sexual attraction i call it an aro crush.  ?  i randomly said it once and just stuck with it.  if it's just sexual attraction i don't call it anything, i just say he's hot or whatever.  i believe 'crush' is usually romantic + sexual but could also be just romantic (like allo aces would use it, right?), but you can use whatever words you like.