Hublah Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 Hi, so I guess i should start by explaining myself. Im Ace, ive figured this much out. I havn't ever felt sexual attraction, and the couple of time I actually tried to get myself to do anything of the nature with a partner, I felt like I was on the brink of a panic attack. I dreaded it, and felt sick when it was brought up. That relationship didn't last, but I had atleast learned something about myself. But this isn't about Asexuality. Currently, I'm in a polyamorous relationship with two ENBY people whom i love dearly. One of the two (they both go by the same name ironically, so for simplicity, ill say person 1 is Sky, and person 2 is Shade), Sky, I've been officially with for 1 1/2 years, though we were pretty much platonically together for 3 years (super cuddly, always close, almost inseperable), and I just recently started dating Shade (though I've known them for almost 8 years.) My problem is, despite me loving them both, and dating them both, I can't tell if its romantic or platonic. I've never been able to tell the difference between the two types, or what constitutes as romantic but not platonic (like, when I was "platonically dating" Sky. They asked me out, I said yes, and nothing really changed; we could just now say we were dating). I've always gone with Panromantic Asexual, because I feel the same type of love with everyone. No matter what gender a person is, I have the same attraction to them,,, or rather, I guess I can't find a difference in how I'm attracted to people. I know I love them, I'd do anything for them, and I can't even imagine being without either of them, but I don't know if its just strong platonic attraction i feel. They both love me as well, and I don't want to hurt them. It might be worth mentioning, ive had what i believe are "crushes" on people before, but even those I've felt I'd be happy if we were just close friends (which I believe would make them a "squish"? I havn't been able to tell the difference between a crush or a squishy either.) The feeling I have for my partners feels just like when i had a squish on someone, only its stronger, if that makes sense? Communication is super important, and prevalent, with my relationships, but I havn't really brought this up with either of them because I don't want to hurt them. Would It make me a bad person to stay with them, even if I am aro? I know they're both happy to be with me, but im not sure if it'd hurt them if I brought it up without knowing what i am/ how to explain it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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