confused

[agusia]

i identify myself as a bisexual aromantic. yes, i can be sexually attracted to people but not romantically... 

 

there is a girl in my class that i have just recently started talking to. we got closer with each other, despite being in numerous group works together, through my friend. that friend likes her and when i found out about it i kind of just felt weird. i don't know how to explain it. i don't like her or anything, i just like being with her. i think she's very cute but my heart does not race when i'm with her. i'd like to be closer  the people around me tell me that i like her romantically but in my heart i know that i don't. 

[Neir]

I think that if you know you don't like her romantically, then you probably don't! Whatever your friends say, they can never feel your feelings. Only you can. Only you are the expert on your feelings.

 

There could be many reasons why you feel the way you do. I think one could be that if your friend decides to pursue this girl romantically, you might be left behind. Often, people in romantic relationships get caught up with one another and see their friends less. So you might feel a bit afraid that that will happen and that you won't get to hang out with her. You seem to like hanging out with her and losing time with a friend can be really saddening.

There could be other reasons as well, but this is the one I thought of first!

[aro_elise]

that can be frustrating.  i talked about my strong platonic love for my best friend and one of my friends said "i think you love her romantically."  no.  you know your own feelings and you decide how you want to identify.  btw, are you familiar with the concept of a 'squish'?  sometimes described as a platonic crush, it's a desire for a platonic relationship/friendship with someone.  like, i wouldn't use this in reference to just anyone i'd like to be friends with--that would be a lot of people--it's a more significant attraction, i guess.  when i have a squish, i often look forward to seeing or talking to them, and i tend to admire something about them, like their personality.  i have just a few squishes a year, but some aros may have far more, and some may not experience them at all.  i also personally use the term 'aro crush' when i have a squish on someone to whom i'm also sexually attracted.  that's not in use in the community or anything, just something i like to use. ?