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am i aromantic?


sarcloud
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Hi! So I have been thinking a lot about myself and relationships and i think im aromantic. I have never been in a relationship, and i find the whole think kinda weird and awkward. I have had crushes and i am sexually attracted to people, but dating seems odd. I find it really abstract for someone to fall in love with me, and i dont think it would ever happen. I also do not how to love romantically, since all of my relationships have been platonic. I have never wanted to get married, or see myself getting married. I dont know, but the idea of having a significant other is very weird to me. Like I want a boyfriend but do i want someone to care for me only platonically? I am just really confused and this all started when my sister said she was going to bring her boyfriend home to meet our parents. Like that is so bazaar to me and kinda gross?!?! IDK! Help lol :) 

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If we apply the “official” doctrine, having crushes indicates you can experience romantic attraction. So if they're indeed crushes, you are not aromantic. Your experience sounds like akoiromanticism.

 

Now, those distinctions are very subtle and refined. IMHO what really counts is that your romantic feelings and motivation significantly differ from the majority in the sense of “something's lacking”. That means you're on the aromantic spectrum.

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58 minutes ago, sarcloud said:

but dating seems odd

😎 I have a feeling most people find it odd. I know some definite romantic people who dislike dating, but that is only because they want to skip the 'get to know' part and get to the 'fall in love' part....which personally seems stupid. 

 

I will agree with @DeltaV about you being on the spectum, though I think for any specifics you will have to dig into your experiences and check out the terms we use. But the general aromantic sensation of other people speaking a different social language that you don't have a dictionary for is a very common experience. I hope the meeting of the boyfriend isn't too uncomfortable for you! it might help to think of him as your sister's new best friend?  

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