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Hola a todos! Newbie here


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Hello everyone! My name is Megan and I'm really super new to all of this. I'd known about the term "Aromantic" for a short while but for some reason it didn't really click until  a few days ago when one of my classmates asked me if I was asexual. I told her I wasn't sure and then made a comment about not being into the whole dating thing though (I've never dated a single person). After I said that, I made the connection that I might be Aromantic and well...now I'm here! When it comes to how I feel about romance, I'm not just completely neutral about it, I'm actually kind of grossed out about it. I've realized that I don't understand dating and crushes. Not to mention, whenever my friends talk about their crushes or their boyfriends/girlfriends, I have to resist rolling my eyes and I never know how to respond. It doesn't help that I'm not a very empathetic person either. I just find expressing love and compassion very difficult. Even non-romantic love is difficult for me to express. I've found that I always act aloof when a friend shows their care for me because I feel so awkward trying to express it in return. However I'm really great at expressing my emotions through writing. It's basically my only outlet for major emotions.

 

All throughout high school, I've told others that I don't date, not because my parents told me I couldn't, but because I decided I wouldn't. I also told myself that I'd wait until college to jump on the romance bandwagon but as I've entered my senior year, I've wanted to push that deadline to after college...or after I see more of the world  or...*continues to push deadline back* ...I never really said I would never date. I'd tell others that I was just being smart since statistics say 95% of high school relationships fail anyways. Though I've realized now that I basically have been avoiding relationships with fake excuses that others would accept.

 

I remember a few moths ago, texting my friend's now ex boyfriend who said that I just didn't understand love yet. His comment just irked me so much because I felt that it was quite the opposite way around. I responded to it and I told him that there's more than just romantic love (amar) which is what most people imagine. There's also the love shared between friends and family (querer) and I told him that I believe "querer" is so much more important and valuable in life. I still believe this and have struggled to understand why few other people shared my worldview. Even after someone goes through a breakup, you'll see them hooking up again as if they'd learned nothing from their last experiences. It just annoys me so much at how desperate some people are towards forming romantic relationships. However, I think I've said enough (maybe too much). Thanks for reading and I'm glad to be joining this new community! :D

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@Emerald Cheetah Hello! Welcome to Arocalypse! There's an infinite amount of :aroicecream: here, so take as much as you want!

 

I also find it annoying how people talk about romance a lot. It's funny. Recently, I witnessed my roommate get a text from a girl, then his phone died. He was jumping up and down like a little kid! I told him to be patient, like, it's not that big of a deal. After he came back, he said it was a shame I'd never experience kissing a girl because "you're missing out on something everyone else is doing" (or something like that). I tried to explain it to him, it was alright, but I just felt like rolling my eyes after. IT'S NOT A SHAME NOT TO EXPERIENCE IT IF I DON'T WANT TO!

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@Spirit of God Thanks for the warm welcome! 

 

oh my gosh I'm never sure if I should find it humorous or annoying when people overreact like that! It's as if their world is ending. I don't really see the big deal about kissing. The world perceives it as such a great experience but I'm sure I'd feel pretty awkward if I ever attempted it with someone. I also hate it when people justify something by saying "Because everyone else is doing it". In fact, that kind of reasoning makes me want to do it even less. When that's the only justification for something then it's not even worth doing unless, of course, you want to be socially accepted by your peers. 

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On 10/6/2018 at 3:32 PM, Emerald Cheetah said:

@Spirit of God Thanks for the warm welcome! 

 

oh my gosh I'm never sure if I should find it humorous or annoying when people overreact like that! It's as if their world is ending. I don't really see the big deal about kissing. The world perceives it as such a great experience but I'm sure I'd feel pretty awkward if I ever attempted it with someone. I also hate it when people justify something by saying "Because everyone else is doing it". In fact, that kind of reasoning makes me want to do it even less. When that's the only justification for something then it's not even worth doing unless, of course, you want to be socially accepted by your peers. 

I want to show this to my roommate and gauge his reaction now!

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