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Aromate Definition & Gray Aromantic question..



  • I was looking up the definition of an aromate which is a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship and was wondering if there's a word for a non-romantic but sexual relationship basically everything the same but instead of non-sexual it could be sexual to. I heard of the term friends with benefits (fwb) but I feel like an aromate relationship is stronger than a fwb relationship.


  • Also since I'm already asking a question what would i call myself in the aro spectrum throughout my life i only had one crush but at the same time i don't know if i was just excited since it my first relationship, therefore, i could have just been excited and didnt like him idk. I have been in relationships and ended every one except with my first bf, i even dated a guy for a month and had no feelings for him in a romantic way and i kinda dreaded hanging out with him because of the romance but im only 17 so i dont know. I like to say gray aromantic because maybe one day i will develop romantic feelings for someone and im still young and dont even know myself yet. What could i call myself i feel like i'm a gray aromantic but for the most part aromantic??

~THANK YOU !!:arolove:



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Generally we tend to see the friends with benefits as actually meaning barely-a-friendship with most interaction just being sex. (there is a whole topic on the fwb things)

I guess the term you might be looking for is a sexual QPR, or just QPR (Queer platonic relationship). QPRs are basically relationships that are outside the norm, such as not including sex or not including romance. 



For your second question, that sounds similar to my issue with labelling my sexuality. I am basically asexual however I do know that I can feel sexual attraction very very rarely under specific circumstances so I didn't feel comfortable identifying as ace. I guess you pick what you feel is most comfortable, if you are unsure of things in the past but don't feel like aromantic is for you, using grayaromantic can be a good compromise. Generally life experiences are seen as fluid, so identifying labels are subject to change sometimes, especially as you are still learning about yourself and how you react to things. If one day you discover romantic feelings it doesn't invalidate the experience you are having now or the labels you choose to use now, you just change the label as you have more information about yourself. 

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