jjaee_jaee

i’m quoiromantic and transmasc, and i always felt really bad because i thought not loving or experiencing love only proved that being trans meant you were unloveable. now i know my identity more, i can see that i was just copying the ideas of people around me. being openly trans is hard enough, and then this! argh!

• “oh but youre so expressive and happy”, yeah im not a robot! • “i use to feel like that, you’ll get it when you’re older” • “you must have low self esteem, you can be loved!” stfu

oh that makes sense! still cant get my head around ‘couple activities’ ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

i hate it!! and when people seperate you from the rest of lgbtqia+! argh!!

yeah sure, sorry i didnt clarify beforehand. i'm open about being aro, and lgbtqia+ and people around me know this and assume that being aro = being stone cold and romance repulsed, which is the opposite for me, and because of this a lot of people assume im faking my identity or am just confused. i'f however, i wasnt openly aro i could do whatever i do and not be judged as much. i've found some allo people to be almost aggressive in 'protecting' their allo-ness when i say i'm aro, and they question me and my labels, and being touchy with my friends and doing traditionally romantic things would only add to this. if i said i was in a romantic relationship to an allo then that would give them something to relate to, and therefore i'm less likely to be judged by allos for simply acting in a way that makes me feel comfortable and happy. hope that covers things!

i have two friends who both call me 'petnames' and i suppose i flirt with them? to be honest, i just do whatever im feeling in the moment, and do whatever makes me happiest because i know they both know that im arospec, and just enjoy their company in perhaps a traditionally 'romantic' way. i enjoy touching people, hugging, holding hands etc. but i've been put off it recently as i dont want to come off as 'interested romantically' in them, because apparently being comfortable means i want to date them? i dont understand the allo mind.

update, if anyone was interested; it went really well! i asked them to stop over text and they apologized and promised to educate themselves, i gave them his forum to brush over if they have any questions and its all going swimmingly, thank you again for pushing me to do this!

yeah! im a very touchy person who does 'romantic things' with my friends and i get asked constantly if i'm in a relationship with them, i'm not!! i just feel comfortable with myself and with them to express myself and my feelings around them, do allo people not feel comfortable with friends, if so, why not!! i'd be happy to 'date' someone if they asked, as long as they knew im arospec, because to me, it's just friendship with a different label that means you wont get judged by allo folks! i treat everyone the same, and yet i'm the one being judged for being at peace with my identity, so frustrating!

i think the same thing! i'm quoiromantic so i dont understand the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, and it always confuses me when people always prioritize romantic relationships over platonic! why can't they treat everyone the same way? and being in a romantic relationship seems to limit what relationships you have with others such as friends, and doing supposedly 'romantic' actions with them can be seen as cheating! it makes no sense! i hope you can find peace with yourself soon, just as i did not too long ago! good luck! (^^)

i’ve always been curious about attraction and asked my friends about how they experience it, led me to researching aromanticism and here we are!

i enjoy playing video games, such as genshin impact and danganronpa, i also enjoy watching horror fims! i'm really into paranormal ones at the moment. i also enjoy spending time with friends and my cat!

i'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this, i'm also new to being aro, and what has helped me is thinking about what i think i want from a relationship, such as skinship and comfort etc., it's different for everyone. while you may not experience romantic attraction, you could be in a queer platonic relationship which (depending on who is in the relationship) could include everything in a traditional romantic relationship minus the actual romantic part. society itself has molded us to think of certain things as purely romantic things, hugs and so on, which can harm us aro folks as it seems that a lot of doors have closed, but they havent! it's always going to be tricky especially when you enjoy romance stories etc. (i do too, its hard!) but just remember, you are you, and you are the only one holding your reigns back, try to remove things traditionally perceived as romantic from being out of bounds, and maybe keep an eye open for queer platonic relationships (QPRs) as they miht be just the thing you're looking for! best of luck! (^^)

thank you guys so much, i’ve been struggling with this topic for a while and hearing that i’m not alone is really helpful. i’ll ask them to stop with the jokes, and keep your points in mind! thank you so much, it really means a lot to know people like me can thrive!

hi! i've only come out to my friends as aro-spec recently (i'm other parts of LGBTQIA+ and they know this) and because i'm aro-spec i feel as if they're kind of brushing it off in a way? we are all LGBTQIA+ in my group and accept one another but i feel that because no one else is aro/aro-spec they don't really care about me coming to terms with a big part of my identity. some of them also make strange comments that seem to be jokes but at my expense, i know they don't mean any harm but i'm still fresh to this part of me and can't really handle any comments knocking me down. has anyone else felt this way before? any tips? any help would be really appreciated! thank you!! (^^)/

thank you guys so much!! this has really helped, nearly brought me to tears!!!! i’ll definitely stick with being honest to my possible future partners despite not understanding their possible side of things! i’ve felt quite strange identifying as aro as all the representation we get is of stone cold romance repulsed folks, which doesnt fit me at all and your reply turned my view around. thank you again! (^^)/

thank you!! ive thought about qpr before and they sound great, but if i were asked to be in a romantic relationship despite my being aro i would be fine with it? is that normal? am i still arospec? thanks!!

Hi, I'm quoiromantic and I've been having a bit of a hard time with the ideas of relationships. I first of don't understand what makes a relationship romantic etc. (of course) but I would be fine in a relationship with someone who is romantically attracted to me if I knew them and felt comfortable with them such as a friend for instance. Does this make me selfish? Does it make me a bad person for leading them on when i know I will never understand what they feel or reciprocate what they feel towards me? I've never been in a relationship before, but am fine with the idea. It's a tough one, and I'm still young and don't expect a relationship anytime soon but it's been really messing with me, any feedback would be really helpful, thank you!!

ahhh that makes sense, when i initially did my research i could only find really set orientations so was a bit put off, but this is so much better! thank youu :)

ah thank you! also love your pfp btw :D

i think that saiki from Saiki K is somewhere on the aro spectrum (maybe) and is definitely on the ace spectrum, but maybe thats just me! ive seen a few edits and stuff here and there but idk! ^^

hi! i've only recently started questioning if i'm aromantic, but i thought that the label was almost too harsh in a way? i thought it was far too vague so i looked into it more and found quoriomantic; which i fit perfectly! the only problem is, i'm pansexual? just wondering, the simple minded fool i am, can i be pansexual and quoriomantic? i've heard of panromantic but i didnt really like the label and i didnt fit the definition. any help would be wonderful! thanks ^^