dewy

I'm offended that you see it as an argument, I thought we were having a nice discussion and I'm sorry if I offended you xD

I fall into the gray area of romanticism so I'll try my best. It's like, you're thinking about them a lot, how you want to spend time with them, more than you would with a friend. You may fantasize about doing things with them you wouldn't really do with friends, like going out on dates, kissing, settling down to live together as romantic partners, etc.

I think alloromantic people have this but felt more intensely, sometimes to the point of being obsessive. Of course since romanticism is a spectrum with everyone having different experiences, romantic attraction is different for everyone no matter where they fall.

It depends on your feelings on the celebrity for what kind of attraction you feel. Could be aesthetic if you just think they're good looking, could be sexual if you find yourself aroused by them or having sexual fantasies.

A lot of aspec people experience these kinds of feelings with celebrities and fictional characters because it can stay as a fantasy and wouldn't actually happen, yknow? For example, I love romancing characters in games because it's fun but it's not real - I can just turn off the game and go on with my life when I want.

Oh man I love Archie comics, me and my sister grew up with them. I'm glad they're still getting some love, and Jughead is a great character. I really like him as aspec rep because he's not painted as undesirable, yknow? Like his whole thing is all the girls love him, and he's simply not interested.

Looks cute! I like that idea for a story.

I'm offended because DEAL WITH IT!

(that's what they're called and I was able to find mine by looking up deal with it glasses png)

I'm offended because now I have to add sunglasses to my icon to fit in. Peer pressure is real xD

But you do so by absorbing said poison into your body and becoming venomous, causing you to become a danger to those around you.

I can master any weapon or fighting style easily.

I'm offended that your profile pic isn't wearing sunglasses. It would really complete the outfit.

Yes they're my favorite! Always my go to for an easy meal... might have some for lunch now that I remembered they exist. So good.

TPBM likes Fallout

"im offended that your pfp is wearing sunglasses in the dark"

This game is fun let's start it up again.

I can heal my headache.

13 minutes ago, Opal said:

omg I love this so much, the necklace is so pretty and simple. for me, I like to make pins that subtly include the pride flag colors, once I made an aroace one that looked like a sunset on the ocean 

Yes I love subtle pride colors! For my icons on different websites, I love taking the colors of pride and just blending them so it's not obviously a pride flag but I can still have the colors. It's like a fun little secret. I sadly don't have anything aro colored but I have stickers of rainbow Mario and a bird that just happened to be trans colors. Also a bracelet that's trans pride colors.

In general I just like taking things that may not have been intended to be prideful but are good symbols anyway. I should DIY an aro pride patch for my jacket...

6 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

Also I like to headcanon Felix and Sylvain as either close friends or eventually QPP. A lot of people read them as romantic of course.

Haven't think about Claude or Hilda though. I think Rhea could be seen as aro : lived thousands of years and no indication that she was dating at any point. (If only I could stand Rhea)

I like that headcanon for Felix and Sylvain, I'm definitely going to be thinking of them that way now. I've seen them shipped romantically a lot but I think I like the idea of them being very close friends or in a non romantic partnership more.

I haven't thought much about Rhea but I could definitely see her being aro as well.

I'm offended because I can't find a reason to get offended by someone who just complimented my icon AND loves Kasane Teto.

Oh man I have a lot. I'll try to limit myself to a few otherwise we'd be here all day.

Firstly Felix from Fire Emblem because he seems to be into romance and such but is so bad at expressing himself and desires. I haven't really thought much about him being aspec but now that I think about it I could totally see it. For some more Fire Emblem characters, definitely Claude and Hilda - I headcanon them both as aspec because they have a very intimate relationship that may or may not be romantic - who knows? I like that ambiguity with them. Also Sylvain with how he uses sex and romance as escapism from his problems.

In general I really like characters who are flirty but use it as a trick to bend people to their will. Looking at the entire Ashen Wolves house but especially Yuri here. I just like ambiguity in characters and their relationships keeping me guessing. Like is he actually interested, or is he just putting on a show to get his way?

Moving on from FE3H I also find a lot of Splatoon characters relatable - there's a huge found family theme going on there. It's hard to just pick one I relate to because them and their dynamics really resonate with me, but if I had to choose, it'd be Agent 8. Hell, the octolings in general are really relatable, trying to figure out love and relationships in a society that's completely different from them.

Finally there's... basically everyone from Disco Elysium. I really like that whole game and how it shows love and I have a soft spot for Kim. I like the homosexual underground side plot where Harry is overthinking sexuality, asks Kim about his, and he just casually goes yup, I'm gay, if that'll help you stop worrying about it. Also, classic partners dynamic where it's like, ok they're partners at work but what if they were partners in other ways too?

I love stories where the characters navigate love in such a way that always keeps you guessing, unsure of their intentions or feelings.

Sounds pretty normal for growing up. I'm 18 and I'm still not quite sure how to label myself, so I wouldn't get too hung up on it. I didn't even know much about aromanticism and asexuality until 2 years ago besides knowing it was a thing.

Labels can be useful but if it's feeling restrictive and you find yourself worrying a lot about which is the "right" label then there's nothing wrong with being unlabeled or just using broad labels. I would just call myself gay for a while because I wasn't sure and that's completely OK.

Remember, even if you later decide a label doesn't fit it doesn't mean you were wrong. I've tried on and taken off so many labels over the years and I used to worry that i was "wrong" somehow, but it's very normal for your identity to change especially when young.

It's an online nickname I've had for years. I wanted to change it but I think it's cute + a lot of my friends still call me it so I've decided to keep it.

On 9/21/2023 at 5:28 PM, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

Just ordered a binder, and actually decided to buy from Spectrum! I couldn't find the correct size for me when looking through Underworks, 'cause I think most of them were out, so I looked to Spectrum and it was still affordable and had my size 👍

Awesome, I hope it works out well for you! I have a spectrum binder and I like it, it's high quality, and I know a lot of people like their binders from there as well.

Welcome! I'm glad you found us - I really enjoy this forum for discussion and education whether it's about aro topics or not. I'm also 18 and still figuring out my identity a bit while living in a place that's bigoted towards LGBT+ people. But I agree it does feel really nice to have labels that fit and unite you with a community.

I hope you like it here!

I'm currently dating a romantic person who is also acespec. It's nice - we have known each other for years and started off as good friends. In my opinion it's good to get to know a potential partner as friends because my partner is also my close friend.

I had several relationships before that didn't go too well because I believe I was more in love with the idea of romance than the people themselves - I did not know I was arospec at the time and we both wanted different things out of the relationship. I had trouble setting boundaries and having conversations but overall I'm glad I had the experience because I learned a lot and not to repeat the same mistakes with my current partner.

It's always important to discuss what you're OK and not OK with - for example if you're uncomfortable with something your partner says or does, even if it's just a bit, it's good to communicate that so you don't have repressed upset feelings that can build up and cause a fight. I'm a big people pleaser and used to let people walk all over me and then blow up at them when I had enough and it's very stressful for everyone involved so I don't want to repeat that.

I only have one partner right now but we're both open to potentially having multiple so I try to communicate and encourage my partner to tell me things like desires and boundaries about being involved with other people so there's no jealousy or hurt feelings.

For the last question I found them in a friend group that's a lot of LGBT people who are understanding and try to educate without judgement even if you don't understand something. It's nice.

15 hours ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

Thank you lot's for your input! I'll check out Spectrum and Shapeshifters as well, and I may end up buying from Underworks since that seems more affordable for me.

Yeah for a first binder it's good to try an affordable one so you can get an idea of what kind of binder works best for you. I have a couple binders that turned out to be not a good fit but I've learned more about what's best for my body. For example my previous Shapeshifters binder is too tight so I just ordered another one with the relaxed fit option. Definitely good to have other options in mind for the future though.

I can relate though I'm grayro and interested in dating so it's a bit different. I felt immature because all my friends had crushes or were dating so I made myself have crushes and be in relationships that didn't go well at all. I like dating now but I wish there wasn't this pressure - looking back I wasn't that into my past partners it was more the idea of romance, and the feeling of obligation to date was not fun at all. To me dating is about having fun and figuring out what you like. Now that I graduated I feel more freedom to explore love. I started dating again for the first time in years and it's going well so far.

Hi I'm gray aro and I'm highly sensitive though I'd rather not go into the why as it's mental health issues that I'm still working on a diagnosis for.

Hi I'm a trans guy who's been binding for a while.

I would stay away from gc2b because the quality has become very hit or miss. I have several newer binders that have fallen apart easily, are uncomfortable, or don't fit right despite being the correct size.

I like Underworks a lot - I only have this binder but it's good quality and I haven't noticed wear and tear despite swimming in it a lot. For reference I am a large in their size so it's hard to find binders that work for me. I like it better than others because it fits quite well - I feel like it actually tries to shape my chest to look more masculine with less compression while others just compress too much. This particular one is also good for me because it's meant to be done with activity and the zipper is helpful to take off/put on easier as well as take quick breaks in the bathroom or something like that.

Some other brands I like if you can afford it are Spectrum and Shapeshifters. They're more on the expensive side but it can be worth the investment. Make sure with Shapeshifters to enter measurements and desired alterations correctly according to your needs as it is custom made so that's especially important.

If money is a problem then Underworks is still good while being affordable and you can always buy them second hand. That is how I got mine, just make sure you're getting it from somewhere trustworthy.

I hope this helps you, if you have any more questions about good binders or binding in general feel free to ask.