Momo

Granted - African brown widow spiders are now native to your house and love nothing more than nesting EVERYWHERE.

I wish I lived closer to some of my friends.

In the near future when cybernetic implants are a normal thing to have, people start to realise that antibiotics won't help fir issues with their implants. They continue to be ignorant of what antibiotics are. 

I wish cybernetic implants where a thing. 

Granted: You buy a katana and put it out the front of the rest of your collection. No one ever asks again.

I wish I could understand and predict human emotions.

Banned for being relaxed.

Banned because your name starts with Z.

One day shotinthehand is swimming in the ocean when a giant sea slug eats her.

I wish it was easier to come up with wishes than corruptions.

Banned because reality never compares to what we dream up.

Banned for not thinking big enough.

Granted: You compulsively write down wishes whenever you think of them. As you write them down they morph into corrupted versions of the things you write. You fill notebook after notebook with them, hoping one comes true. They consume your life. You fill your entire house with the notebooks full of all the things you wish for and curl up and die in the middle of a sea of paper covered with corrupted wishes.

I wish I wasn't so morbid.

Banned because all pokemon are cute in their own way.

Banned for not thinking this is the cutest thing ever.

Banned because you no longer fit into my plushy schemes.

On 2017-5-24 at 5:55 AM, Ice Queen said:

Why do most allos say "I love you" when they actually mean "I'm in love with you"? 

And is there a difference, perceived or otherwise, between the two statements? Seems they mean the same to me, the first is just easier to say.

Banned for denying the inevitable, plushy truth.

Banned for disliking plushies.

Banned because I have no argument against that.

Banned for making me even squishier than normal.

Banned for complimenting me too much.

Banned for having ten times as many posts as me.

Banned for not knowing what "Oh really" means.

~Banned for having an orly profile picture!

You manage to work out how to shape shift your form to any form of your choosing but you can't manage to ever go back to your original shape and no one believes you are who you say you are.

I wish I had more wishes.

Banned for having blue hair.

I have one word for my younger self: aromantic. 

Not knowing such a thing existed was not great. 

Your wish is granted and the thread continues to take over the forum until the server crashes. 

I wish I had pizza.