ilse

while i do check off as queer in a number of boxes, i don't like using it to label myself for mostly personal reasons.

being aromantic certainly differs from the norm, it's kind of amazing just how much importance romantic love has in society.

covid-19 disappears.... at the cost of the planet exploding. but hey! that means no more pandemics!

i wish the moon was pink.

false, it's 9pm currently.

TPBM has eaten sushi before.

i always saw it as aroace but with a preference (when it comes to QPRs), however i'm not aroace so it's not really my conversation.

Lucky - Lucky Twice

i really like 2000s pop, felt like this song could make it to the list (plus it's about loving yourself ?‍♀️)

On 6/30/2021 at 3:03 PM, Guest Rae said:

I've never had a crush, each school year was a trial of judging my male classmates and determining who I would pick when I was eventually asked the most infuriating question of my childhood, "Who do you fancy?".

i've certainly had to go through this exact same scenario before, even now i continue to get asked this question ?‍♀️

On 6/30/2021 at 3:03 PM, Guest Rae said:

After a few years of being terrified of that label I've grown to feel a lot more content with it but still doubt myself

i'm glad that you're starting to feel more comfortable, when it comes to sexuality, attraction and the like it always come with a lot of doubt from oneself, though with time it goes away ?‍♀️ (at least in some cases)

while i haven't come out to my family or anyone irl yet, i just know my mom would tell me i'm being ridiculous ?‍♀️

glad to see your relatives reacted positively to your identity though.

as for flowers, i think daffodils would be a nice symbol, representing new beginnings (i've also heard that they represent awareness and inner reflection), along with the fact that they tend to be yellow in color, though i think yellow roses are a beautiful symbol too ?‍♀️

30 minutes ago, Ace said:

We all know about the aro ring and how we for some reaason like green but what are some other like icons about aromantics 

i suppose ice cream counts as an icon of sorts? i've seen in it in some welcoming messages (i'm assuming it's kind of like the aro equivalent of cake) and i remember someone on tumblr mentioning gryphons as an aro symbol too.

i'm assuming you already found your answer for this question but i'm gonna answer in case a guest has the same doubt. (and because i feel sad when seeing the 0 replies ?‍♀️)

applying the aegosexual checklist to a romantic context would be my way to go to figuring out my romantic orientation, or generally any sexuality but simply changing the sexual context. even the definitions can be similar, it all depends on whether it's sexual or romantic attraction.

i personally don't think it's my place or anyone's really to tell you if your emotions are real or not, only you can decide if what you felt for that boy was you genuinely crushing on him or "choosing" to crush on him.

eitherway, you mentioned you were 12 at the time, age in which it's pretty common to want to experience love and crushes so maybe those feelings could have been a reflection? but i repeat, it's not up to me to judge your emotions as true or false, after all, no one knows your heart as well as you do.

i'm still fairly new to the community, so take this as you will.

you do sound like you could be aromantic, though i think it's important to clarify that aromanticism is not a dead end of sorts; you can still engage in romantic activities and relationships.

2 hours ago, Guest Emily said:

I do love the idea of having your ‘person’, a partner for life. I absolutely want a family and children. I want a wedding. I want to be special to someone and them special to me and I want to use my whole heart for someone, want it to ache like it does reading romance stories.

i can personally relate to this in a way, and i understand that discovering you're arospec might seem like a huge let down in this sort of situations. however, you can do all of those things and be aromantic too, just maybe not the "aching" sensation that comes with love. (keyword: maybe)

also, i don't think you're being selfish or using people if you explain to them first that your relationship is only gonna be temporary, it's common for people to experiment within their love life. and not wanting to kiss i feel is something you should talk about with future partners when setting boundaries.

paper doll

58 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

Tell me you don't want some :

i certainly do ?‍♀️ crêpes are some of my favorite desserts (though here in mexico some people just put nutella or chocolate sauce on a tortilla and call it a crêpe)

kind of like someone else said before in this thread, i might say it if the topic comes up in conversation (depends on the people) but as of now it's not really anyone in my life's business.

19

This is AUREA's definition of greyromantic:

Quote

1. Describes a person who feels romantic attraction very rarely, weakly, unreliably or gains/loses attraction in unusual or unknown circumstances.

Seeing as she's been your only crush and the rest have been squishes, you could say that you feel romantic attraction on rare ocassions, therefore, you could be greyromantic! though, your identity and which labels you use are always up to you in the end, after all, no one knows your feelings better than yourself.

sadly, some people are too attached to their beliefs that they refuse to look beyond said beliefs or to be educated (as is the case with most if not all conservatives). it's not your fault though, he's obviously not being cooperative and doesn't want to.

i'll have to say lasagna, i could eat it for days and never get tired of it.

and as for sweets nearly anything with chocolate, caramel or cajeta. i have a sweet tooth for a lot of things ?‍♀️

maybe try explaining what a squish is in a simple manner? like a crush but platonic?

think of it as a common confession, maybe try making some small talk before you bring the topic up, you could explain what a squish is before telling your friend that you're squishing on them.

26 minutes ago, Blaze01 said:

What if they do find it weird and it ruins everything that we have?

you'll never truly know until you take the leap, if your friend wants to remain friends, then they'll attempt to understand your squishes and your identity. if you're still a little iffy on telling them about your squish perhaps you could let some time pass to see if it goes away.

33 minutes ago, Blaze01 said:

seeming overbearing.

it's not overbearing, it's something that you and your friend should discuss since it's really important to you, i promise you you're not being pushy or annoying for wanting to let your feelings be known.

mouse

2065

i'm quite new to all of this stuff so take my input with a grain of salt, but i do believe that good communication between friends is important, especially when it comes to emotions.

tell them about your squish, they might be weirded out by it at first but it's obvious that it's affecting your friendship as well as yourself. if they're truly your friend, i'm sure they'll understand ?‍♀️

lesbian here, no, it's not appropiation. anyone can have short hair, winged eyeliner or wear flannel. these things just happen to be popular among wlw, but they are not specific to us. i don't even think cultural appropiation can apply here since these aren't things that we created or that have their origins within the sapphic community as far as i know.

late to the party but as a lesbian, yes, there is a lot of focus on romance in a huge majority of lesbian and sapphic spaces.

being arospec, sometimes i fear i look at women through the "male gaze" whenever i find them sexually attractive and also fear that i am propagating the "predatory lesbian" stereotype by doing such. i am allowed to find women hot, i am allowed to find women sexy, i am allowed to feel sexual desire for women and i am not "damaging" the lesbian community because of it.

On 6/12/2021 at 6:15 PM, PissLover2 said:

I seen post about asexual lesbians being called a certain word back in the 90's(I forgot what it was called but it was a positive nickname) and how everyone was saying how cute it was.

i believe the term you're looking for is bambi lesbian, which did in fact become popular on lesbian tumblr.

On 6/12/2021 at 6:15 PM, PissLover2 said:

I see almost nothing about aro lesbians.

and yes, with the whole "soft cottagecore uwu girlfriends" fantasy being incredibly popular in most if not all sapphic spaces it is quite alienating to see all of this people talking about what they think are universal experiences. posts about aro lesbians are usually about how "valid" we are and that's it, it's hard to find stuff about aro lesbians talking about their experiences (at least on most sites i've been, or we are just mentioned on posts about lesbians in general).

in all honesty, the lesbian community could use more diversity when it comes to this type of things, it does get annoying seeing the same "i want to live in a cottage with my wife and do her hair while sitting on her lap ? uwu" type posts whenever i search up lesbian content.