Ettina

Mostly cis woman, aroace, ring finger longer than index finger on both hands.   

On 2/17/2017 at 0:08 PM, Mark said:

I gave this a try but couldn't get it to produce results due to no suitable gender option.

I don't think the gender you choose affects the results. Do you want to just pick at random? 

When is too young? Before the age of 10. Most kids under 10 don't have romantic feelings (although there are exceptions).

But I don't think 12 or 13 is too young. The majority of alloromantic people have had a crush by then.   

I don't know. It's a major reason for failing the Bechdel test, though.  

Cats, yes.

Oh, and Blue Phoenix Ace. Don't forget him!

Chandler is demiromantic.

On 5/12/2017 at 3:40 PM, Ice Queen said:

No, this is not what I meant. There are 2 types of "romance": non-toxic one and toxic one (as in the one that comes with addiction and abusive/controlling behaviour, and which seems to be glorified nowadays). Also, she once stated that her favourite love song is "Every breath you take" by The Police. The lyrics send shivers down my spine. 

I totally get what you mean. Twilight is not a good romantic story! 

Anyone mention Monkey D Luffy? The author has explicitly said that his true and only love is adventure. And his nakama are very QP, to my eyes.

No, I've shut down all pursuers because I'm pretty sure that they were allosexual. (And all were guys, and I prefer women.) I've thought that if I got an offer from an ace, even an allo ace, I might go for it. They'd need to know that I'm aro and be OK with that, though.

"You're lucky not to have to deal with relationships!" 

On 4/6/2016 at 6:12 PM, hangryeowyn said:

The tricky thing for me when it comes to discussing this kind of thing with other Christians is that there's this huge stigma against sex outside of marriage. I'm not asexual. I do want sex, but I don't want the traditional romantic marriage that those in the church would be used to. Barring a platonic marriage, in their eyes I would be "living in sin" by either cohabitating or generally having sex outside of marriage. So at this point I not only have to fight against those who have a problem with being single (Hellooooo, Paul anyone??), I also have to wrestle with the sex part. I personally don't see a problem with it, but I've only met one other Christian who agrees with me. 

Yeah, I figured allo aros would have more issues with traditional Christian mores than aroaces do.

Personally, I became an atheist at 8, so my sexual/romantic orientation never really entered into it. It was me being autistic and gifted that they couldn't stand - they wanted me to leave my brain at the door and respect what authority figures said was true, even if it didn't make sense to me. And to stop being so weird and troublesome in general - they told me that I'd be going to Hell.

It's sad for my parents, because they're nice accepting Christians. It's my school and church that drove me away.

I'm autiplatonic, I'd say. Gender doesn't matter, but most of my squishes are on autistic people.  

I like hugs & cuddles, but kissing is just gross. It's not a romantic thing for me - even platonic kissing bugs me (I made Mom stop kissing me when I was a preschooler).

Regarding what someone else mentioned about people liking cuddles but not hugs, I could see that. I can easily cuddle for hours, but hugs get awkward if they go on too long. It's mostly a matter of needing to sit down because standing hurts, and being too big to fit comfortably on an adult's lap. But I can easily fit on the seat beside them, with their arm around me. 

On 4/12/2016 at 10:49 AM, Cassiopeia said:

Go on

I'll start:

I watched DS9 years ago, but I think Odo is canonly ace? But I guess he is kinda arospec as well? Like grey or something?

Odo is definitely ace. That sex scene between him and the female shapeshifter was so incredibly ace for both of them.

I don't see him as aro though - he definitely seems romantically attracted to Kira. He could be demiromantic, though, since he knew & was friends with Kira for years before feeling anything romantic for her, and doesn't seem to have ever felt romantic attraction for anyone else, either.

Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel strikes me as heterosexual aromantic. 

I, too, made up crushes when I was younger. 

For me, I'm aroace but sex-repulsed and romance-favourable, so the distinction shows up that way. Partly my repulsion kicks in for any act that involves sharing germs - not sure if that piece counts as sex repulsion or just part of my OCD tendencies. Kissing bugs me for that reason, even platonic kissing (eg my mother kissing me on the cheek, which she learnt not to do when I was a preschooler).

But if I think about stuff that doesn't involve germs, well, stuff that comes to mind is fondling boobs or butt cheeks, removing clothing in a sexual manner, watching the person masturbate, seeing naked male-bodied people, seeing an erection or the outline of one, seeing/hearing someone having an orgasm, knowing someone is sexually attracted to me, all of those set off sex-repulsion. Even stuff that's normally not sexual, if it triggers someone's fetish, it would be iffy for me. (Eg I could imagine enjoying a foot massage, but not if it's given by a foot fetishist who is clearly enjoying the experience in a sexual way.) But I think there it would be seeing the person's reaction that would repulse me, not the act itself. Whereas most conventionally sexual acts, even if my partner was ace or otherwise not attracted to me, it would probably still bother me.

What's less clear to me is the distinction between platonic and romantic. Close positive emotional bonds make me smile, regardless of which category they fall into. And very often I can't tell if two people are friends or romantic partners. I like people cuddling, giving gifts to each other, wedding proposals, etc. Incidentally, regarding gift giving, I feel the same about a person giving their SO flowers or chocolates or whatever as I do about a friend giving a birthday present, as long as the enjoyment of the gift seems similar. Even watching others kiss can make me smile, if it was set up well. The only times I feel repulsed by romance is if it looks unhealthy (eg overly controlling) or in fiction if the story wasn't written well or the romance replaced an awesome platonic relationship.ANo idea how I'd react to someone being romantically interested in me, because the only offers I've gotten were from allo/allo heterosexual guys, who clearly wanted sex as well, and it was the sexual aspect that sent me running.         

On 3/1/2017 at 10:51 AM, Aliyiah said:

I recently found the series 'Lie to me', I'm only half through the first season but so far there's no romantic plot (some sidestory but not the main characters).

It's been awhile since I watched that, but I believe there's more romance later on. (I vaguely recall two of the underlings on the team hooking up, but don't quote me on that.) Never the main guy, though - the only romance he apparently ever had or will have was over before the show started.          

7 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

Note to self: Don't ever go to France... it's not even about it being 'intimate'... the sensation of a human mouth on my face is just klndflknsdf ewwwww nope. Kind of like being licked by a dog... just less wet. My extreme aversion to anything that remotely resembles makeup adds to this problem quite a bit too... This is probably not an aro thing though.  

Same. I remember as a little kid, telling my mother to never kiss me again because I didn't like it. 

On 3/3/2017 at 4:24 PM, BusyBumbleBee said:

A few weeks ago I found the series "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" 

It's only one season so far and it has zero romance in it. The only romance mentioned and shown is maybe one minute long and not even about one of the main characters. It's also definitely my favourite series at the moment.

 

Also the movies 'Moana' and 'Brother Bear' have no romance in it and 'Brave' is about a princess who doesn't want to get married and she's basically aro. (they're all Disney but that doesn't mean they're not good)

And I think, if I remember correctly, 'Life Of Pi' and the new Jungle Book movie have no romance in it and those are so beautiful.

The book Life of Pi has no romance either.

I decided to get a profile image. I have literally never done this for any forum before. Why isn't it showing up? 

On 2/25/2017 at 0:13 PM, Salt said:

Here's for all the artists and writers.

 

YMBAI you try to avoid drawing or writing romance, but when you have to you get uncomfortable. Once you manage to finish it, you're automatically dissapointed and self-concious about it because you don't know how to portray the romance.

This! I'm working on a LGBT YA dystopian novel, and the main characters are a homoromantic ace who falls in love with a pansexual. Argh! Definitely out of my comfort zone as a writer!

I had fake crushes when I first got sex ed (so heteronormative...). But in retrospect I just followed them around and stared at them, or did weird convoluted attempts to get their attention that were pretty much guaranteed to fail, probably on purpose. It was weird.

Of course the guys I had 'crushes' on were actually guys I thought were nice-looking or had good personality traits.  

On 10/16/2016 at 3:20 PM, Natkat said:          

But to me however I think squishes is most strong when you just get to know a new person and get this new energy attraction (I dont remember the word, its used in the poly comunity alot?)          

New Relationship Energy (NRE). Though from what I've seen they mostly use it as another term for limerence.

Anyway, I have a feeling that I've been terming squishes, but it's kinda weird. It's like it suddenly hits me, and for a few seconds to minutes I'm just overwhelmed with how wonderful they are and how much I love them. And then it passes, but I still feel very close to them and want to be with them a lot. My first squish I can remember was on my 2 year old brother, and I've squished on cats, kids, and rarely on close friends. The only times I've squished on a stranger have been with a newly adopted kitten and with a friend of the family's newborn baby. (Who I don't really like very much now that she's grown into a bratty, mean kid.) Except for those two, I've always squished on someone after I got to know them for awhile (say acquaintance/minor friend level). And the humans I squish on are pretty much all either small children or people with autistic traits.  

I confess that my first years of university, when I was hanging out with my best friend every day, were the happiest I've ever been, and now I'm in despair because I don't think I'll ever be that happy again. 

On 1/23/2017 at 10:28 PM, LunarSeas said:

I confess to considering inventing the term "theoromantic" because quite honestly, I love my gods in rather romantic terms, but not people. 

 

I know it's bizarre, but I'm too tired to care.

Is this your tumblr?

http://lunaticonthenile.tumblr.com/post/156412996557/if-theoromantic-doesnt-yet-exist-as-a-term-it

Because if not, you're not alone.