Sam Spade

Welcome!

I couldn't upload any photos (files were too large) so here's some virtual cake!!!

??
 

I've seen this on some profiles and was just wondering what it meant.

It doesn't really affect my career... I get asked if I have a SO occasionally but I just say "I'm focusing on my career". Don't know if it'll work when I'm older but no one bothers me now.

On the plus side, there's no one in my life to feel neglected when I'm working all day. Except my pets, who have a good pet-sitter.

Yes, I only had a few friends, and they moved away. I'm always the one who reaches out which makes me wonder if anyone actually likes hanging out with me...

9 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

Romance is an internal drive

That's my impression of romance, and I'm just uncomfortable with that drive being aimed at me, because I know I can't reciprocate.  

On 1/27/2021 at 11:04 PM, eatingcroutons said:

Personally I've seen quite a few messages from younger people who seem to be stressed out, for want of a better phrase, about finding the "right" label

Excellent point! I hadn't thought of that. 

I just looked it up to see if it was a real thing, and saw recipes with no stars or reviews ? but yeah it's just regular pizza.

lol none of the banana pizza recipes online have any reviews.

Here's a banana recipe I've tried that's pretty good. I think the bananas need to be slightly green so they don't turn to mush. They might be okay on pizza. 

https://www.fifteenspatulas.com/pan-fried-honey-bananas/

Yes... it wouldn't really have changed anything, I've always acted aro. It would've made me feel more "normal" though. 

Is it even possible to win this game?

17 hours ago, cyancat said:

that’s the typical and generally accepted as standard/best response to what is normally an incredibly vague question of “idk am i aro or not” with very little/very confusing information to supplement

idk, I've seen it on posts where a teen has written a well-thought-out explanation of their experiences, and older members come in with "orientation is fluid, it could change any day!!!". (mostly on AVEN tbh)

It's important for youth to know that you don't have to stick with one label your whole life, but maybe some questions that encourage introspection would be more helpful in these cases. "It could change any day" sounds a lot like "it's a phase", especially if you're a teen just learning about asexuality or being aromantic. 

Ennui

2 hours ago, Guest ;afsdkoi said:

have some sort of vague, watery implications attached

Yeah, if you're talking about the "your orientation is fluid, you could just be a late bloomer" thing... I see older Aros (and Aces) bring it up whenever the poster is under about 20. As if turning whatever age suddenly makes you more valid. 

I discovered I was aro in my late teens. There were dozens of signs I missed when I was younger. Even before I'd heard the word aromantic, I remember thinking "When I'm 11/13/16 years old I'll start having crushes". Never happened. But in the back of my mind I'm still wondering if there's a magic age when a switch will flip and I'll want romance, sex, or children.

So I guess, while it's important to remember that no one has to identify with one label their whole life,  it's also important not to invalidate aro youth. 

@GhostyPeppers I hope it is ok, I want to read it!

I just came over from AVEN, I've decided this is the year I embrace my aroaceness and find a community that accepts me for who I am! ? I don't know anyone irl to talk about LGBT+ subjects with (conservative area, etc.). 

I like to write YA/New Adult fiction with aro/ace main characters, and talk about writing. My other hobbies include rock collecting, learning survival skills, and researching cool science stuff.

I found an in-depth guide once but I can't remember the blog. (I'll try to find it again)

From an aroace perspective, it doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong. We need ace romances, QPRs, and characters who don't want relationships. 

I've read that your aro or ace characters shouldn't be robots, aliens or villains (the whole 'don't feel romantic attraction = evil and heartless' stereotype). And having an emotionally distant, traumatized or socially awkward ace character could play into stereotypes too. 

A helpful quote from https://simplyoriginalcharacters.tumblr.com/post/162641610574/how-to-write-an-asexual-character - 

"Do include multiple asexual characters in your story. Doing so decreases the burden of representation. E.g. If your story has one character who’s asexual and introverted your readers might assume all asexual people are introverted. When your story contains both introverted and extroverted asexual characters, readers are less likely to make that assumption."

(this goes for all minority characters btw)