Rainy Robin

Romantic attraction is fluid just like sexual attraction, so it's possible you could be aro! It might be useful to check out the aroflux label as well and hear about the experiences of aroflux people to see if anything is relatable. 

I know this probably isn't the most helpful advice, but I'd recommend you just pick the label that feels most natural to you. I think there are so many different ways to be aro or grayro, and whatever word feels best to you is the one you should go with! But if you're looking for other terms as well, you could check out quoiromantic or wtfromantic. Either term means that it's really hard to identify if you experience romantic attraction or not, and it could be a useful term to explore as you reflect on these things. 

Hello! Nice to meet you, and I'm glad you found this site! There are a lot of good resources here, and I'm sure that talking to people here will help you figure things out for yourself. Good luck :)  

Hello and welcome! I'm glad you decided to make an account here. I totally get that AVEN can feel daunting, so I hope you find this site a little more relaxed. ?

Pasta

Lemonade

I totally agree with @mossy's point about how it could be relating to amatonormativity and the prevalence of romance in culture/media. Maybe it's relating to  frustration or feeling disinterested when romance is brought up in a situation where it isn't necessary or expected?

I've mainly heard of romance repulsion in the context of actually being in a romantic situation yourself (like being grossed out at the thought of kissing someone you're close with), though I'm sure those feelings can translate or influence your perspective on media and culture as well. 

@mossy Aw, thanks! I'm obsessed with the picrew image maker website, I won't lie ?

Hello and welcome to Arocalypse! I did the same thing as you (first checking out aven and then coming here to talk about aro stuff) and it's really nice to chat with other arospec people about stuff. I hope you get a chance to meet some cool people here!

Hello and welcome! ? I'm glad you found this forum and are interested in getting involved. I was a bit unsure when I first started out as well, but I've found this section of the internet to be full of lovely people. It really is nice to chat with people who have similar experiences!

8 hours ago, Acecream said:

I would love to hear suggestions :D

I’ll think about it by myself, maybe I’ll have a good idea.. (but I would not be too positive about my creativity^^) As the word squish exists it should be possible to find another word for this

I don't have any ideas yet, though I've thought that borrowing from Greek or Latin root words may help here. I'll post if I think of anything!

12 hours ago, nonmerci said:

For what I read, the director of the movies didn't like these couples so he makes them as akward as possible in the movies

That makes total sense. It completely comes through in the movies!

12 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Also Neill was never in love with Luna in the books, they added it in the movie because a lot was shipping them I think.

Oh, thanks for the clarification. I suppose I could see them in a QPR or something like that, but the whole thing feels a bit stilted to me. 

I completely agree, the word "single" feels weird to use as an aro. It's connection to amatonormativity is too strong for me to feel okay using it to describe myself, so I tend to not talk about it since there's no language I've found that totally describes my situation. 

I've heard some use the phrase "self-partnered" but I don't like that too much either because it places the emphasis on relationships/partnerships rather than the individual. Usually I just say I'm "on my own" which isn't much better, so I'm also curious if anyone has better words to describe this! Maybe we could invent a word?

I know this may be controversial, but I thought it was totally unnecessary that the Harry Potter series had both the Ron&Hermione ship and the Harry&Ginny ship. I only ever thought of them as friends, and it felt pretty forced to put them together by the end of the series. I think the books did a better job of integrating those subplots than the movies did, but the whole thing felt weird to me anyways. 

Also, I've always thought of Luna Lovegood as aroace so I didn't see her in a romantic relationship with Neville. ?‍♂️

Hello and welcome! I love your username :)

AVEN brought me here as well, and I can totally relate to how being aromantic influences asexuality and can make things more challenging to talk about in only asexual/acespec spaces. Regarding aro culture, I really like the ? emoji (I use it to mean non-romantic love / positive aro vibes) and the phrase "no-romo" which is just cute. Aside from those, I think that the community is so new that we all can actively create the culture as we go. So if you can think of good things to add to aro culture, there's nothing stopping you from doing that!

I hope you find some good community here, and feel free to reach out if you want!

Hey V, I'm glad you're getting involved in the community! It's always fascinating to have these kinds of intentional discussions about RA, aromantic/asexual-spec identities, and how they intersect. I hope that you find some good opportunities to do that here (either via the forums or the PM feature). :) 

Hello and welcome!

I recently figured out that I was aro too, after identifying as simply ace for awhile. I'm glad you've found this site! 

For me, I'm more comfy in aro spaces but that's mainly because my aro identity feels more important to me at the moment. It may be because it was only recently that I started identifying as aro (whereas I knew I was ace for longer), but I think it also has to do with the fact that my romantic orientation has a bigger impact on the way I view the world than my sexual orientation does. And other aros have more similar experiences in that regard, so I like hanging around those spaces more. 

In addition to all the stuff mentioned earlier, I'd read through the threads on this site titled "You might be aro if..." and "early signs you were aro." It's super helpful to think through your past experiences and think about the kinds of relationships you may want, but I found that doing that didn't totally make me comfortable identifying as aro because of how challenging it is to think through everything. There was something very comforting about reading through those threads and seeing how much I related to what everyone posted, and that feeling of comfort helped me get the confidence and insight to claim the aro label. 

Hello and welcome back! 

Also, happy aro awareness week ?

Hello and welcome!!??

@Erederyn Thanks for the explanation! That's certainly helpful to know. :) 

I totally agree about the point that many people aren't aware about all the different types of attraction. I certainly wasn't until I discovered AVEN and Arocalypse! We definitely need to normalize conversations about these topics. 

23 hours ago, Erederyn said:

There is the oriented aroace label that some people use to to signify that they experience other forms of attraction that isn't romantic or sexual, although the term is considered to have some issues.

Do you mind if I ask what issues the oriented aroace label has? I'm relatively new to the aro community and I haven't heard about this yet but I'd like to learn more. 

39 minutes ago, Rony said:

To be honest, I feel like the other types are simply treated like "worst", "not significant", "they don't deserve to be called like that".

I agree with this, mainly because I think these different types of attraction are seen as less valuable or less influential to one's lived experience than sexual and romantic attraction. I think this may have something to do with the fact that they aren't talked about very much in mainstream society? I imagine that if we had more conversations about these ideas in public spheres, then we would take them more seriously. 

41 minutes ago, Rony said:

I'm identifying myself as aroace demi/grayplatonic and graysensual (without being sure who is attractive to me due to my conditional experience of it), and I'm more about to say: hey, but it's my orientation, not just attraction.

And what do you think about it?

I think that (like I mentioned earlier) society has a very simplistic understanding of orientation, at least in the sense that it only considers romantic and sexual attraction as important elements of how a person interacts with others. And since people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums are more likely to think in terms of other types of attraction, I think it completely makes sense to include those types of attraction in a description of one's orientation. Though I think we should definitely normalize allo people doing this as well!

That's so cool to hear you both figured out your identities so early! I realized I'm on the aromantic spectrum recently (within the last few months, at 21 years old). I didn't know what aromanticism was until earlier this year, but I'm sure I would've identified somewhere on the spectrum earlier if I had known there was a word for what I was feeling.