ScarfOfSexualPreference

I finally discovered the term a year ago, right as quarantine was starting, on AVEN. It clicked immediately, which had never happened to me before!

One time I dreamt I came out as non-binary to my family after a track meet. It went... really well actually.

Yeah, I think it's really difficult to understand why someone doesn't want something when it's all you want. 

Like chocolate. If someone says they don't like chocolate, my brain immediately goes to 'are they allergic or something? How do you not like chocolate? Everyone likes chocolate!"

So I guess I just try to remind myself that it's just a lack of understanding sometimes, not a deliberate thought that someone can't dislike 'chocolate.'

Well, first of all, I think of squishes as platonic crushes. Like, I really want to be your friend! 

I've had a few real life squishes, but I've had a really hard time acting on them, especially because I go to a small high school and am really bad about getting out of my comfort zone. Plus, everyone already kind of has their friend groups, so... excuses excuses. 

But during quarantine especially, I've mostly just had squishes on fictional characters. I consider myself a teensie bit lithromantic, like, the idea of being Spider-Man's girlfriend is really nice, but as soon as I try to look at it realistically I realize I'd hate it. But, I'd love to be friends with Spider-Man, or Alex Rider, or Harry Potter, or the kids from Stranger Things (hecking Robin is so hot). Like, I just wanna be part of their adventures and hang out with them! But the idea of doing romantic stuff like kissing and hugging and... blech. 

So, yeah, I've had squishes! I mostly use the term with my friends though. Like instead of saying 'I love Spider-Man,' I'd say 'I have a huge squish on Spider-Man!'

The word has really helped me recognize my feelings towards others, like am I in love right now? Is actually just dang they're really cool. 

HELLO. I BASICALLY TYPE LIKE THIS IN EVERYDAY TEXTING AND I JUST READ IT AS EXCITED!!! ALSO FALKSDJFKLASONCANSDLFDASJFKDLASNCANONEIWNFENINCADSFJKALDS

On 10/24/2020 at 6:57 PM, Galaxy_enby said:

How do you do the reveal hidden contents thing?

If you're on  computer, you can just click it :)

I'm offended that you're offended that you couldn't be to a funeral

1995

True! Page one :)

TPBM has a favorite book series (more specifically, one they pick above all others. Their favorite, not just the best they've read, or one out of a few...)

Our People Plead Our Ruler's Tyranny, Usurpers Near, I Send This In Confidence

Hope that made sense xD

FORCEFUL

Ooh, probably lighting from my fingers, bc I don't really like swarms of things. 

Would you rather be a contestant in the Bachelor or Married at First Sight? (Stuff of nightmares)

freedom (idk for me at least)

I find that my obsessive fictional squishes are mostly skinny white guys, who're usually nerdy. But I guess that's just who I get along with in real life, so I figure that's who I'm drawn to. 

Just now, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

I find that my obsessive fictional squishes are mostly skinny white guys, who're usually nerdy. But I guess that's just who I get along with in real life, so I figure that's who I'm drawn to. 

That, or alt girls :D 

I guess I'm just assuming you were AFAB, but what helped my mom agree to it was showing her lots of photos of women with short cuts, and telling her you'll get a more 'feminine' cut. If you go to the hairdressers, you can just tell them what you want. 

Also, if you really think it will help your dysphoria, sometimes hacking it away with scissors is worth it, and a lot easier than it seems (especially if you're going really short). I'd love to cut off my boobs, but unfortunately, it doesn't work that way :/

Anyway, depending on your situation, asking for forgiveness might be easier than asking for permission.

Yeah, I don't understand why people can't respect whatever you want to call yourself. I use different labels for different things, I reserve my broad labels to use in passing, but I have my own microlabels that describe me further.

Sometimes it helps to use the broader term if it helps others understand :)

I mean, I don't love romance movies, so all of them are kind of the worst for me. But I watched the German audio of The Knight Before Christmas on Netflix, to practice, and it was especially hilarious. The girl in the movie is so stupid, and like, empty of any personality other than "millennial." It was something else. But at least there was a chase scene, so... idk?

I think you’re right on the dot with most of those labels. And also, you can just say that you’re aro-spec, and that way your personal feelings or more specific labels can be just for you or self-defined!

I really wish that stuff wasn’t expected of people. It sucks that we can’t just say: I don’t want to do this, and others think we have to or whatever

Use a planner and personalize it!! I give my planner a theme for the week, and use different colored pens to keep it happy-feeling!

I’ve seen lots, but my favorite Ar far is Aromantic aardvark

Yeah, it's kind of a tricky thing for me, because I want to make others around me comfortable, so I often repress parts of myself that wouldn't appeal to them. I have a different personality for everyone I hang out with. It's really draining, and I wish I could be better about it. 

When it comes up in conversation, I'll say it, but if no one asks, I don't feel the need to tell.

I don't like physical intimacy at all. I always feel stiff and awkward during hugs or kisses or hand holding or whatever. I feel like that's something I could get comfortable with though, if it was with a good enough friend.

I'm in the middle of my gender self-discovery, but I think I'm a Demi-girl or something non-binary. For now, I just wear a binder and present a little more non-binary. I'm not 100% sure yet, so I'd love to hear others' experiences

What worked for me was a lot of reading. Listening to others experiences, trying to figure out what label you fall under, or if you fall under one at all. 
Ask others, online or in person. I’ve asked a lot of my friends what the difference between platonic love and romantic love is and they mostly gave me the answer that you got, so I dunno! 
And lastly, take your time!! It’s okay to be confused or questioning, that’s perfectly normal! And if it helps, you can always try on different labels or make your own personal definition for how you feel. 
We can help/answer questions, so stick around! Good luck on your journey ❤️