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Kojote

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    Romantic Attraction

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    Just now, Jade said:

    Is there anywhere online where the Attraction Questionnaire is available (and able to be scored..) ?

    Not that I know, sry. I just remember it from one if the articles back when I still studied psychology, but I was never big on the romantic topics (for, in retrospect, obvious reasons), so I never took it myself... 

    Romantic Attraction

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    There are some well researched ones, like the Attraction Questionnaire. 

    Plus there's tons of studies on romance, using tests. Sadly most of them are not really open to the public, or, if they are their scoring system isn't made public as they usually require a test analyst.

    A lack of romantic attraction however, is still way understudied... which is why being aro just results in low scores and isn't overly classified =\

    • Like 2

    How old are you?

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    On 16.4.2016 at 0:04 PM, Cassiopeia said:

    I'm soo glad to see the older generations slowly arriving to this forum. I love seeing aros over 25, with most of their friends married, but still having a great time, enjoying their life.

    Those life stories mean a lot more to me than any pep talk..

     

    26 here. Also concerned about the whole friends married thing and very interested in some positive life stories from the 25+ members =) 

     

    • Like 3

    Romantic Attraction

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    Sure, but you could still be in the healthy zone. Under this test you can be pathological and still not score over 120. Liking kittens and being a stalker don't cancel out after all xD

    All psychological tests hide more than one trait in a test scale, because behavior or feelings are not one-dimensional (as represented in all those questions and groups). They even include false positives  or "liar" detection questions to determine the truthfulness of the person, answering the questions. Some items get more "points" than others and items are usually tested to see if they really measure, what they are supposed to. Which happens way less than one might think, actually xD 

     

    Long blabla short: This test measures something, but it still has a long way to go. =) (also still creppy - not love in general, just some of the items make the hair of my neck stand up xD)

    • Like 3

    Romantic Attraction

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    True, but every item on the list scores you one point. You could, theoretically, hit all the creep-tastic ones without being 120 or more. As far as psychological test's go, this one is not all that great because it makes little to no distinctions. It measures something alright, but it still has a long way to go. 

    • Like 2

    Romantic Attraction

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    Yes but, points like these:

     

    25. Do I become more obsessive, the less response I get?
    170. Once my passion for _____ has passed,
             do I feel an irrational urge to inflict pain, hurt, and harm on him/her?

    156. Have I sometimes threatened to kill someone else
             if I did not get my romantic dream?

     

    Are legit scary, no matter the cancellation effect, since they involve outsiders and not-interested parties...I guess those are extremes, but they are still creepy. 

    • Like 6

    Early signs that you were aro

    in Aromantic Discussion

    Posted

    This is less about being aro and more about being agender, but those two are really very intertwined for me. Since I don't see myself as a certain gender, I don't see others as certain genders. Does that apply to some of you a- or genderflux people out there, too?

     

    Spoiler

    When I was little, I remember not wanting to be a "girl" at all, but I didn't want to be a boy either. I guess in the end, I just didn't want to be perceived as weak or precious and I didn't want to be anything, anyone had to "protect". I remember distinctly saying to myself that I didn't want to be boy or girl, but just "me", doing "me-stuff".  So I joined the soccer team, got mad at a boy who called me girly and got in a fist-fight. I refused to wear dresses or skirts, got kicked out of ballet because I kept goofing around all the time. Most importantly though I stopped crying about pretty much anything. So much so, that I actually couldn't cry about anything for a rather long time =\ I did it, so people wouldn't put me in a gendered-box. I did that because I wanted to be perceived as me, rather than "a little girl" and it kind of helped. By behaving outside of the norm, people remembered my name rather then my gender.... And all of this was before I entered elementary school. 

     

    I also remember always disliking kids and babys xD" The idea of marriage seemed to be a weird concept. I always admired couples, who were more like live-in friends without any children, who never got married(early aro dreams showing? xD ). Other than that I simple never cared. A friend of mine used to make up guys she could date and pretended they were real( 4th or 5th grade). Wrote letters and all to convince me and I just pretended with her, because it seemed like a fun game. She even created one for me and I just played along, because why not. It didn't really mean anything anyway and she seemed to have fun xD
    That was it though. I knew of the concept, but I never really felt pressured to enter a relationship during my school years, so I simple watched my friends being all conscious about it. Like the pretend letter-game, it just never seemed like something that really, truly involved me. They had their little games and I just pretended with them. Which is probably why it took so long for me to figure out that I really need to define myself and figure out that I'm Aro =\  

    • Like 6
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