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FishPanda

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Everything posted by FishPanda

  1. OMG yes! Best thing about that series. The twisted sisters.
  2. Don't stay in situations that make you unhappy, even if you feel like you're obligated to.
  3. Harry and Hermione from Harry Potter. I feel like they adopted each other as siblings, being only children. I really like their relationship and how they help and support one another. Also Stiles and Scott from teen wolf, because most of the time they have the most awesome friendship in existence. And Kili and Fili from the hobbit, because devoted siblings are love. Edited to add: Joan Watson and Sherlock Holmes from Elementary. How could I forget them. He named a bee after her!
  4. I admit I'm a slasher at heart, so I like the idea. I mean, I LOVED Cap/Peggy, because come on, they were awesome together, but I can certainly get behind Steve/Tony (they have the best interactions) or Steve/Bucky (the friends to lovers thing is a cliche for a reason). However, I admit I'm always a bit bothered by how there HAS to be a love story. The winter soldier, for all of Natasha's ribbing, didn't have a big focus on romance, and I liked it that way. I don't go to see superhero movies for the love story, I go for the action and the cool special effects and the plot. I would love it if more movies like this made friendship their focus, because it can be just as powerful as romantic love, plot-wise, if not more so.
  5. I wouldn't say I forced myself to have crushes; more like it took me a long time to realize that what I defined as crushes was not exactly what other people though of when they "crushed". When I said crush I meant "I am physically attracted to them, perhaps I even like them as a person, and I probably would be open to making out with them and maybe something more", but it was always tinged with something uncomfortable that I couldn't pinpoint at the time. Like it was an intellectual feeling more than an emotional one, if that makes sense.
  6. Thanks for answering! I don't consider myself a very sensitive person, emotionally (I cry easily at sad movies and when reading sad books and the like, but I generally don't get very affected by real life), but I can relate to a lot of what you said regarding stress, especially stress that is related to crowds and noise and drama. I like people well enough, but not for long stretches of time. I like having my own space, which is one of the reasons I prefer to pay more and live alone, and I tend to get short-tempered if I have to share my space with people for too long, even if it's people that I like. I agree so much!
  7. Thanks for answering! As someones who was sort of "born" this way, it's interesting to hear about how and why one cultivates it. You're right that it seems like a pretty terrible way to live - I'd say stressful more than unsatisfying, because in a way you're always craving outside validation, and unless you live a very sheltered life, you're not gonna get it. It also leaves you more vulnerable to emotional manipulation. I didn't ask this question with a hypothesis in mind. I really have no idea one way or the other. I don't think that being aromantic is linked in any way to not having strong emotions - It just seems to me that romantic people have another layer to their relationships that we don't experience, and perhaps that could potentially increase their susceptibility to social/emotional insults and criticism.
  8. I've always been pretty thick-skinned. I don't really care what people think or say about me, unless they belong to one of three groups - family, close friends or people who grade me work. But I've noticed this is rather unusual, at least in the people around me. My best friend used to be super thin-skinned as a child (until she was like 18-20, actually). She would cry over everything, every snub or mean thing someone said to her, and she would hold grudges like a champ. Really, she still hates people over things they said to her when we were six. I just never understood the point. If you don't like them, why does their opinion matter? But as I grew up, I realized this was how most people operated. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why. I have no idea if this is related to me being aromantic. Perhaps it's because I've been raised by great parents who always instilled confidence in me. Perhaps it's because I'm my own worse critic, being a perfectionist, and so I've said it all myself before, at least when it comes to things I care about. Perhaps it's because I'm a pretty unemotional person, and pretty much couldn't care less about most people. I have no idea. But I'm curious if it's related after all. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
  9. That's good to know. I've always been a potato gal, myself. You can make so many yummy things from them. Especially french fries, mmm...
  10. Part of it is social conditioning, obviously. But I've seen my cousin's daughter put her brother's toy car to sleep once, so at least some of it is instinct and/or natural inclination. The old "nurture vs nature" argument.
  11. This is a great article. I can identify with a lot of the thing she says. Thank you for posting it!
  12. I never ever want to have kids. For me it's kind of at the same level of losing my ability to walk or going blind, life-ruining wise. I really don't like kids, and the thought of being pregnant makes me both creeped out and freaked out. It's like something out of alien and it makes me dry heave. Seriously, it's almost phobia-like. It's one of those urges I never really got - I see people cooing over babies and I'm like "ugh. it's a squashed up human. What's so cute about that"? Also the thought of being responsible for something so helpless is a big nono. I'm okay with them once they reach the age of 4-5, though. Surprisingly, I was a really popular babysitter as a teenager. Kids LOVED me. Maybe because I didn't baby them or talk down to them. I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with me being aromantic, though, because I've never played "mother and baby" with my dolls as a child and the first time I announced I wasn't ever having kids was in the second grade.
  13. I'm glad you found it so. I feel the same about other peoples' posts - I keep going through the threads and thinking "I can relate to that so much" or "that's exactly how I feel". And thanks for the welcome everyone!
  14. People can definitely develop romantic feeling well into a friendship. I think it's a combination of things. Obviously, they already like the person and like spending spending time with them, or they wouldn't be friends. Then there is sexual attraction (if they aren't ace). In romantic people these two things combine into romantic feelings, which we as aromantics don't really get. One variable in this equation doesn't happen to us. As for signs, I think Vega pretty much summed it up: Those are the signs I encountered, especially the compliments. I think in these cases, if you want to keep your friendships, you have to "kill it while it's young", and set the boundaries as soon as you see this. You might still lose the friendship if that's all they were interesting or if they can't take rejection well, but it's better than letting it drag on because you don't want to rock the boat, which might end up with them feeling like they were "led on".
  15. You aren't alone, although in my case it isn't trauma related, I just don't really get attached to people and I don't really miss them, excluding my parents and sisters (and my cat. I like cats more than I like people). I form bonds very quickly, and I'm likable and get along with people, but in my case "far from sight, far from the heart" rings true. Most of my friendships fizzle out as soon as we aren't in the same setting anymore (finished uni, changed jobs etc.). I have a few childhood friends that I fight nail and tooth to be in touch with, against my nature, because we've been friends since we were children and we've been through everything together. But it's a struggle. I'm not good at it. I have to make myself care. It become even harder since they were both married and had kids, since I feel like I can't really relate to them anymore.
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