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Status Updates posted by Philotes

  1. My roommate's boyfriend bought her flowers for valentine's day which is cute and all but I am having an allergic reaction to them. What an aro mood

  2. Whenever I have a conversation about aromanticism with one of the friends I am out to, she always says that many people from our generation (millennials) do not have a partner and that I am thus not that different from everyone else. Apart from the fact that it is not true, I get that she just wants to make sure that I do not feel like I am weird but it feels so incredibly invalidating everytime she says it. It feels like she just completely disregards the struggles I have had (and still) have when it comes to accepting my aroness. 

    1. aro_elise


      have you told her this?  it's possible she doesn't understand the difference between the reasons some others don't have/want a partner and the reason you don't (your orientation).  i understand why it would bother you.  i had someone emphatically tell me how lucky i was to be aro since i would thus avoid romantic heartbreak and drama, and while i do, it's not that simple, and i felt it wasn't their place to make that comment.  i would suggest making your feelings known.

    2. Philotes


      No I haven't told her, but you are right and I should tell her. I guess I am worried that I might lose her support if I explain the difference to her. This is probably an irrantional fear because she is really supportive of everyone's orientation but it still plays a part... 

    3. aro_elise


      i get it, i was so nervous to come out to the people who really matter to me, even though i knew they'd be supportive.  it does sound like your friend wants to be.  good luck.

  3. Sometimes I still imagine what a relationship would be like and I recently realized that whenever I am imagining myself in a relatioship it is always sort of performative (if that makes sense). As in, I always imagine what it would look like to other people and never how the relationship would feel for me. 

  4. I recently met someone and we get along rather well, apart from the fact that she is so frickin romance oriented. She is always looking for a relationship and is somehow always in love. 


    About a week ago we were playing 'would you rather' with a couple of friends (including her) and I got the question 'would you rather never have sex again or would you rather never find true love?'. Well for my aromantic bisexual (and virgin but hey I really want to have sex) ass that was an easy answer, but she then gave me a 30 min lecture about why true love was the best thing in the entire world and that it was incredibly sad that I would pick something as horrible as sex over the amazing concept of true romantic love. I am still annoyed by it

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. NotHeartless


      I'm glad your other friend supported you! That's a real friend right there - at least that's a positive aspect of the situation.

    3. Philotes



      That's a real friend right there 

      Yes exactly! She is really great and supports me no matter what 😊

    4. The Angel of Eternity

      The Angel of Eternity

      If someone asked me that question, I'd simply say "neither"!

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