Theridiidae

3 or so months ago I realized that I never had butterflies. I always thought butterflies were like an exaggeration for caring for someone. I talked to some of my alloromantic friends who don't exaggerate like ever and when they were able to give me like the same feeling and where it occurred in their body, I was like "oh." I always know asexual was a thing (one of my beloved friends is ace) then began wondering about a romantic equivalent and found this forum and and read over the early signs and just went "OH" and well, here I am.

I'm slowly coming to the grey aro identification for myself because I haven't really sought out relationships, I enjoy being in relationships, I've felt a total of one butterfly in my chest when I was perfectly happy and content and the stars aligned just so. On a daily basis, however the love I feel in my romantic relationships doesn't differ from the love I feel for my friends at all.

I am bisexual woman and probably grey aro. I've been in 8 relationships. 6 guys 2 girls. I always conflated lust feelings with romantic interest (a nasty personality is a huge turn off). I never hated being in romantic relationships. With the guys, I never felt a disconnect from what they were feeling and what I was feeling (close friendship with sexual attraction). With the girls though, there's been talk of butterflies and stuff like that. I started asking my close friends what butterflies feel like and everything they've described, I've never really felt. I enjoy the closeness of being in relationships but I've never had what others say is romantic feelings for these people...

I never desired being in relationships, they just kind of happened. Thinking back, they were all friends with whom I was sexually attracted. I've never gotten butterflies about a person or anything like that.