Mark

1. Quote

   When you discovered the word “aromantic,” it felt like something finally clicked into place for you.

   Yes

2. I

   Quote

   Identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved, free, happy, or more like yourself.

   Mostly the latter, certainly not "happy".

3. Quote

   When you discovered the concept of a “squish” suddenly a lot of things made more sense to you.

   No

4. Quote

   You have trouble telling the difference between romantic and friendly feelings.

   If they are from others.

5. Quote

   You’ve never had a crush on someone, or fallen in love.

   Unsure

6. Quote

   You’re not sure if you’ve ever had a crush on someone or fallen in love.

   Yes, see 6,

7. Quote

   You have trouble telling the difference between a crush and a squish, or between romantic and aesthetic/sexual/sensual attraction.

   Attraction seems more complex and varied to me than these terms.

8. Quote

   You have doubted whether crushes or love really exist, or if they’re just cultural constructs.

   At times.

9. Quote

   You find romance boring, annoying or upsetting when it appears in fiction, even if it’s written well.

   Mostly the first two. Especially if there is no sensual or sexual element with it.

10. Quote

    You once thought that having a crush on someone meant you admired them or really wanted to be their friend.

    Not sure I ever had much idea what it's ment to mean.

11. Quote

    You thought crushes were something you consciously decided to have, and selected an acquaintance or celebrity to be your crush, because everyone else was doing it.

    No

12. Quote

    You forgot which acquaintance or celebrity you were supposed to have a crush on.

    Lol, yes.

13. Quote

    If you’re not asexual, a “friends with benefits” relationship sounds ideal to you.

    Hell yes.

14. Quote

    You have trouble relating, or feeling involved, when your friends discuss their romantic relationships or romantic feelings.

    Yes

15. Quote

    Falling in love doesn’t seem very exciting to you.

    Yes

16. Quote

    You don’t understand why other people make such a big deal out of having crushes or falling in love.

    It's more not understanding why everyone is expected to be do this. When it's OK not to be a mega fan of just about anything else you can think of.

17. Quote

    You don’t understand why people do ridiculous, irrational or over-the-top things in the name of love.

    TBH such behaviour appears part of the human condition.

18. Quote

    You don’t understand why finding someone sexually/aesthetically attractive would lead you to want a committed relationship with them.

    I don't understand wanting a romantic or other kind of exclusive relationship. What "committed" means outside those contexts is up for debate.

19. Quote

    Or, maybe you sort of understand those things in an abstract way, but you can’t really relate to them.

    Sort of.

20. Quote

    You have never had a romantic relationship - not because you couldn’t get one, but because you just never really bothered to try, or you liked being single better.

    I've tried it, even though getting one is hard. Because finding what I actually wanted was much, much harder. Never again.

21. Quote

    When a romantic relationship gets serious, it makes you feel cold, distant or uncomfortable.

    The uncomfortable bit is there from the start.

22. Quote

    Getting a romantic partner feels more like fulfilling an obligation, or something you’re supposed to do, than something you’re really enthusiastic about.

    Yes

23. Quote

    Your romantic partners always seem to be way more into the lovey-dovey stuff than you are.

    Rather ironically I like things like touch, affection and  kissing way more than the average person.

24. Quote

    A likable person suggests having a romantic relationship with you, and you’re indifferent to it - you’re open to trying it, but you won’t get disappointed without it. Other people may find your indifference bizarre or think you’re giving off mixed messages.

    I'd have been open to trying it when I was younger. Not any more.

25.  

    Quote

    You have felt guilty about not loving your romantic partner as much as they loved you, even though you sincerely cared about them and wanted to love them back.

    More not being into the weird stuff.

26. Quote

    You have felt suffocated, repressed or tense in a romantic relationship, even though you really liked your partner and they hadn’t done anything wrong.

    It's just not the right kind of relationship for me.

27. Quote

    When your last romantic relationship ended, you felt relieved and free more than you felt sad, even if your partner broke it off, and even if you liked them very much as a person.

    Yes

28. Quote

    You’re more excited by making a new best friend than by falling in love.

    Sort of

29. Quote

    You wouldn’t mind marrying your best friend and spending your life with them, even though you’re not in love with them.

    Not remotely interested in marriage.

30. Quote

    You’d rather spend Friday night having a sleepover party with your buddies than going out on a date.

    Maybe. Depends on the details.

31. Quote

    You want a best friend much more than you want a romantic relationship.

    Maybe

32. Quote

    It’s not so much the idea of being single forever that bothers you, so much as being alone or unwanted.

    Yes

33. Quote

    You are either oblivious to other people flirting with you, or feel uncomfortable or threatened by it.

    Oblivious

34. Quote

    You are sometimes perceived as flirtatious when you only meant to be friendly.

    No

35. Quote

    You live in a large community and see or meet hundreds of people around your age every year, but none of them have ever stirred romantic feelings in you.

    I don't live in such a community.

36. Quote

    You recognize whether something is romantic or not by comparing it to other gestures, words and signals that your culture has taught you are romantic, rather than “feeling” the romance of it intuitively.

    I'm unsure how I do this.

37. Quote

    When you say or do romantic things, it feels like you’re following a script or copying romantic things you’ve seen elsewhere, rather than something spontaneous and natural to you.

    Yes

38. Quote

    When thinking about what sort of person you’d want to date, your criteria are identical to what you would want from a best friend.

    Not really. Also I think people rather than person...

39. Quote

    The main benefit you get from a romantic relationship is either platonic, sensual, sexual, or a combination of those; the romantic aspect is okay but it’s not really the part you like most.

    Yes. But it's rendered unsustainable if there is romance there.

40. Quote

    You have trouble imagining romantic activities that you would enjoy, unless those activities are also fun or interesting for you on a platonic or intellectual level.

    Yes

41. Quote

    You feel like your closest friends and/or queerplatonic partners are better at fulfilling your emotional needs than romantic partners would be.

    Yes

42. Quote

    You would rather be huggy, cuddly or emotionally intimate with all of your friends instead of reserving your intimacy for just one person.

    Yes, though they get a say in the matter.

43. Quote

    You would rather have a queerplatonic relationship than a typical romantic relationship.

    Preferably more than one and no exclusivity.

44. Quote

    You don’t feel as if you’re missing anything in your life right now; having a romantic partner might be nice, but you don’t need it or seek it out.

    I feel I'm missing out on plenty. Though a romantic partner would be no help to me at all here.

45. Quote

    The idea of being single forever sounds awesome to you.

    No

46. Quote

    You enjoy gestures and activities that are traditionally labeled “romantic,” but at no point during them do you actually feel attracted to whoever you’re with.

    Plenty of ways to be attracted which do not involve romance.

47. Quote

    You don’t enoy gestures and activities that are traditionally labeled romantic, either because the romance aspect bothers you, or because all of them are just plain unappealing to you.

    It's the requirement for romance (or romantic relationship) which tends to spoil things for me here.

48. Quote

    You avoid going places where people are likely to flirt with you, such as bars, parties, nightclubs, and concerts.

    TBH I might be more inclined to go if that seemed likely to happen.

49. Quote

    You’re not sure why other people enjoy romantic stories; you usually just find the lead characters to be annoying, boring or dysfunctional.

    I don't especially care if people like story genres I don't.

50. Quote

    You like the idea of having a big wedding celebration more than the idea of actually marrying someone.

    Meh

I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner from November 1984.

Original Lyrics

English -> Russian -> Arabic -> Zulu -> Malay -> Maori -> English

Here's where I sent it

On 25/11/2016 at 9:07 PM, Untamed Heart said:

I've never understood why some people have got engaged or even married after knowing each other a very short amount of time - maybe even a day! Sure, it worked out for some people, but I'd bet my bottom dollar they're in the minority. Yet, they're still framed as positive, "I found The ONE and I'm telling my story to give hope to all the lonely singles out there ^TM " stories, rather than "acted ridiculously rashly, was lucky it worked out in our favour".

Don't find such stories hopeful.
At best they are WTF, at worst "How am I ever going to be able to fit in if everyone else just wants to do this kind of thing?"
 

Something I've noticed several times with online forums is that someone posting about how difficult they find social interaction can get several responses along the lines of "me too, before I met my spouse/fiance/etc." With me left thinking that since the OP never mentioned any interest in marriage these are a complete non sequitur.

Quote

1. "I enjoy fictional romantic relationships and would like to experience the same kinds of feelings"

I typically find them to be annoying and often lacking good reasons in terms of character and plot to be there at all. Whilst I might like to experience some of the feelings of the characters involved I'm not sure that these wouldn't be present had they been in a QPR.
 

Quote

2. "I like nearly everything about romantic relationships but do not experience romantic attraction"

What I like about romantic relationships are sensual, sexual and/or companionship aspects. There's also plenty about them I don't like at all.
 

Quote

3. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship, just not with anyone I have ever met"

No. I have no interest in being in this kind of relationship.

Quote

4. "I love the idea of romance but I can't deal with it in real life"

No. I find the concept, at best, kooky.

Quote

5. "I would like to be in a romantic relationship for practical reasons (not feelings)"

No. That is just something I could not do.
 

Quote

6. "I think I would like it if someone had romantic feelings for me"

No, thank you.
 

Quote

 

7. "I would be fine in a romantic relationship or a QPR"

 

No. QPP or other non-romantic.
 

Quote

8. "I would like to know what it's like to experience romantic attraction"

Maybe for curiosity's sake.
 

Quote

9. "I'd rather be romantic than aromantic"

Actually yes. Since it would be considerably easier to fit into society than as an aro,
 

Quote

10. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life as an aromantic person"

No. I am who I am, however difficult it can be.
 

Quote

11. "Being in a romantic relationship would help me attain other goals in my life"

Quite likely it would. If I could do it. Because of the way society is set up.
 

Quote

12. "I think dating sounds like fun"

It actually does. Just without the romantic cruft or the expectation that I have to do the asking out role.

11 hours ago, Cereal Tendencies said:

I find it annoying how if a man remains single, society will leave him alone to be the "miserable bachelor" that he is

 

but if a woman chooses to remain single, she has doomed herself for eternity and will eventually become a crazy cat lady spinster

 

where is the sense in that??

I'm not convinced that "miserable spinster" and "crazy cat gent bachelor" would be any improvement
Kind of depends if you view "miserable" or "crazy" as being the most unflattering adjective.

Maybe a condition of calling anyone a "crazy cat person" should be to offer them a kitten.

11 hours ago, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

I confess I think I might be realizing that.... even now, I am somehow convinced that given time I will finally be ready for a relationship, despite the fact that my entire life I've been constantly telling me "I should put dating off 'til later. I'm not really ready to be someone's partner"

It can be difficult working out and expressing what you actually want. Especially when that is non normative and lacking in examples and role models.
You might change your mind or you might not.
 

11 hours ago, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

 need to just let it go. This girl goes solo!

The term "solo" dosn't necessarily mean without interpersonal relationships. Though in several contexts it does mean without being "in a couple".

17 hours ago, Natkat said:

I dont think there is anything paticular linked with aromanticism or asexuality with autism.

There is something of a correlation here, though it's more with non-normtivity.
It's also likely that people who are hyper-romantic, hyper-sexual, strongly hetero, strongly monogamous or strongly vanilla are less likely to be noticed than those who are aromantic, asexual, LGBT+, poly or kinky,
 

17 hours ago, Natkat said:

However, Disable people which included Autistic people as well DO get desexualise and deromantizise alot.

I just talked with someone who got their dignose a few weeks ago, and they said that their therapist had been surprized how they had sex with people because as she said. "most people like you arnt interesteed in sex?"

It's possible that autism has more of an issue with infantisation than other disabilities because of how strongly it is associated with children.

17 hours ago, Natkat said:

I grew up on a special school for autistic children. and while sure some seamed to not be interesteed in romance or sex, there where sure also many perverts and many who thought about romantic relationships and dating (which itself was a challange since there where alot more guys than girls and everyone was supposed to be straight) I dont think it would had been too different on a regular school. One thing I noticed to be different is many autistic people have difficulties interracting with others and it makes it difficult to seek out romantic relationships or sexuals once, but having difficulties in these doesnt mean people arnt interesteed.

The obvious difference with a regular school would be between being in an environment where such difficulties interracting were rare vs where they were common.

On 29/11/2016 at 5:54 PM, Cassiopeia said:

I was always really scared to ID as aro because it sounds so final, so categorical.

Its not just finding it hard to determine the lack of something you never had, but also ruling out the possibility of it.

I, still, have mixed feelings.
On one hand "aromantic" is a term which describes me well.
On  the other virtually nobody else has any clue what it means and it describes only what I can't do rather than what I can.
Plenty of times I wish I could be "normal".

On 29/11/2016 at 5:54 PM, Cassiopeia said:

What if people will use my identity to question my relationships in the future? Queer relationships seldom treated as legitimate, and a same sex queerplatonic relationship will be even less.

Different sex QP relationships don't tend to be seen as "legitimate" most of the time, either.
 

On 29/11/2016 at 5:54 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Romance is so deeply enbedded into our culture, and it comes with lots of privileges and advantages. It's not easy choosing to be yourself knowing you may pay a high price for that.

Not being yourself can also come with a high price. As can doing nothing because there's a possibility that some day you will change and, magically, want too do those normative things which you've never wanted before...

On 29/11/2016 at 8:04 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Yes, precisely. And even if your person is okay with you experimenting, as a questioning aro, after how many failed loveless relationships can you be sure? What if the next one will be it but you stopped trying? What if you date for three months, and its all bland and forced but the spark would have been finally there if you stayed together for two more? I remember being in a relationship, and trying to find out the correct number of months that would already qualify as Serious Long Term Relationship™ to know that I have exprerienced the thing.

I have experimented with romantic relationships, a little. Because that was all I could find, rather than what I actually wanted. About the most I managed was six weeks.
 

On 30/11/2016 at 1:06 PM, Kojote said:

I feel this so much! Part of the reasons why I broke down after realizing that I'm not romantic material was precisely that. How do I know I'm not just to scared to try it? How will I know if I won't regret this later? Can I really be alone for the rest_of_my_life? What if everyone I've ever liked moves on and I'm left alone just because I was to "stubborn" to give it a shot. Make the thing happen with somebody. So what if I felt miserable even considering it, maybe I am just taking the easy way out instead of confronting myself with a serious relationship^tm . Surely I could fake it till I make it, however long that takes.

I also fear being alone. However being in a romantic co-habiting coupley type thing isn't the sort of company and companionship I actually aspire to anyway. Which is a difficult concept to explain in an amantonormative society.

1 hour ago, Cassiopeia said:

I guess this is more related to asexuality, as nudity is traditionally seen as a sexual thing...

I was kind of wondering the same thing.

4 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

I feel silly talking about wanting a QPP or using any kind of aro jargon irl. Its just so frustrating to choose between not telling the full truth and not being taken seriously.

I'm not sure that there is a simple answer here.
How do you translate things into "allo speak"?

Terms like "non platonic" or "non romantic" are likely to be just as confusing as "queer platonic".
Terms like "FWB" or "sexual friend" are likely to be misinterpreted as "sex only".

5 hours ago, LunarSeas said:

I took a guy home from a bar one night explicitly for sex. No other reason. He even started annoying me with his talk during sex, and I slapped my hand over his mouth and literally said "just shut the fuck up."

I've encountered people saying that part of a "one night stand" involves role playing being "in a relationship". To at least some allo/allos romance appears akin to a sexual fetish.

1 hour ago, Cereal Tendencies said:

I was on the bus one time and the guy sitting next to me decided to strike up a conversation, asking me my name, what I studied, etc and trying to get to know me

I was in a good mood so I continued the conversation, completely oblivious to the fact that he was hitting on me lol

 

It wasn't until he asked for my number that things got really awkward, and because we were getting close to my stop and I just couldn't bring myself to say "no" without sounding rude about it, I just gave it to him right before I got off, and then immediately blocked his number when I was sure he couldn't see me

The romantic concept of "chatting up" is rather weird and creepy. As well as involving things like hinting, reading between the lines, ambiguious meanings, etc which many people find difficult.
On the other hand it's often considered very rude for someone to directly express sexual or sensual interest. (Especially a man to a woman.)

On 08/07/2016 at 11:05 PM, xavo said:

I got something like that once, except it wasn't "aromanticism doesn't exist", it was something along the lines of "you can't be aromantic and asexual." I wasn't even sure what to say.

Had their previous experience been with allo aces? Who might have been quite vocal about ensuring they wern't assumed to be aro.

On 09/07/2016 at 0:27 PM, Kaiger Pufflehugs IV said:

I kinda agree with what @Just like Jughead is saying -  people in general tend to see sexual and romantic orientations as one and the same, with all aces being aro, all lesbians being homoromantic, etc.

It can also happen the other way around. Most obviously the assumption that all aros are aces.

On 09/07/2016 at 0:27 PM, Kaiger Pufflehugs IV said:

People don't even think of a romantic orientation as something that exists, where a person's romantic orientation is assumed to be the same as their sexual one, can't understand how it can be different. While I'm aro/ace, I have straight/ace, pan/ace, etc. friends who exist just as much as I do (though when I mention being aro, it's seen as something I can "overcome", not a part of me).

It's also possible to have romantic & sexual orientations which "overlap" (varioriented allo/allo). e.g. hetero/bi or pan/homo. For these people the assumption that romantic and sexual orientations are the same can sort of work.
It fails in one set of ways for allo/aces; in a different set ways for aro/allo and, most likely, in a different set of ways for homo/hetero & homo/hetero (mutually exclusive allo/allo).

Allo/allos are likely to desire a romantic relationship with sex.
Allo/aces are likely to desire a romantic relationship without sex.

Aro/allos are likely to desire (one or more) non romantic (QP) relationships, with sex.

Aro/aces are likely to desire (one or more) non romantic (QP) relationships, without sex.
Mutually exclusive allo/allos might desire non-sexual romantic, sexual QP or both. (Most likely the former, since alloromantics often seem to struggle with non romantic or concurrent relationships.)

Varioriented allo/allos might desire romantic with sex, romantic without sex, sexual QP, etc.

2 hours ago, aussiekirkland said:

The other week my 13 year old friend on Miitomo was gushing about her boyfriend and I said I was happy for her. Honestly, hearing her talk about how he's started puberty made me want to gag a little.

 

The other day my 9 year old second cousin asked me if I had a boyfriend and I just said no while listening to her ramble on about her "long distance relationship" because I didn't think it was worth the effort coming out to a 9 year old.

 

This is just the first few things that came to mind, I'm sure there's way more.

I've been known to compare alloromantics with squeeing fangirls

12 hours ago, Tumblrweed said:

Years of observation have suggested the following romantic-coded(?) things squick me:

- others having romantic interest in me, perceived or confessed. This is the worst on the list.

For me there's also being expected to show romantic interest. e.g. being asked "why?" when I say I'm uninterested in things like marriage.

12 hours ago, Tumblrweed said:

In general, romance not involving myself is something I'm neutral towards, and fictional romance in media can range from cringeworthy bad romances that hurt to watch to romances that I love because they make me feel the closest thing to what I imagine love is, mixed with excitement for the cream of the crop.

I find that romantic sub-plots in mainstream movies are annoying since they seem added for their own sake. Doing little or nothing to advance plot or characters, even sometimes getting in the way of it.

11 hours ago, omitef said:

Prolonged PDA, especially of a sexual nature. Sweet talk. Excessive compliments. Excessive advances towards intimacy. Unoriginal pet names (e.g. babe).

My feelings towards sexual and sensual PDAs tend to be envy.
How can excessive compliments be sincere?

11 hours ago, omitef said:

"Excessive advances towards intimacy" is probably my most major source of romance-repulsion. I don't understand it when people almost become one unit with their partner(s)--people who can't seem to go anywhere without their partner(s). It's so creepy.

I'd call this more "entanglement" or "merger" rather than "intimacy". There's also terms like "other half". It does seem very disturbing how little these people appear to care about their individuality, integrity and identity. Other aspects of this would be co-habitation and co-sleeping.

On 15/11/2016 at 6:56 AM, LunarSeas said:

Every interaction with every person is unique, so I'm not really sure I can pin down sexual attraction. It's a constellation of things. Sometimes it's cerebral, other times it's pure lust. I once wanted to make out with a biologist on tv because he started geeking out over tardigardes, and it was cute as fuck. 

I've come up with a, somewhat strange, analogy that attraction is a bit like light.
With alloromantics being very (by several orders of magnitude) sensitive to "romantic coloured" light. Thus tending to see only bright monochromatic light.
With aromantics not being especially sensitive, even insensitive, to this colour of light. Thus seeing a huge variation in colour and intensity.

On 15/11/2016 at 6:28 AM, UncommonNonsense said:

Let's say you have a best friend who you do not/cannot date (for whatever reason - maybe they're not attracted to people of your gender).  You want the best for this person because you care about them an awful lot. 

You're aro.  You accept yourself and your identity, and you're not overly conflicted about being aro. 

 

Your best friend meets another aro person and is interested in this person.  You don't know the person your friend is pursuing. 

 

Would you advise your friend that they should date an aromantic person, knowing that your friend is romantically-oriented?  Or would you tell your friend to give up on this particular relationship?  Would the gender and orientation of your friend make a difference?  Would it make a difference to you if the aromantic person your friend likes is asexual or allosexual?

I don't think that there is a simple answer to this..
At least some allos are capable of being in Queer Platonic Relationships. (Even multiple concurrent QPRs.)

Some obvious issues include:
The allo trying to push romance on the aro.
The aro might think that they need to accept romance or try to "act romantic" in order for relationship to happen/continue.
The allo needing to understand that whilst the aro might like some romantic coded things they may dislike (or be repulsed) by others.
The allo might feel they are not with the aro or doing things together enough.
The aro might feel that they are with the allo or doing things together too much.
The allo might abandon the aro for a romantic relationship or the aro might fear this happening.
Things may be more difficult if the allo has lots of experience with dating other allos

There's also likely to be social and peer pressures on both the allo and aro. With the nature of these pressures depending on their (assumed) gender and sexual orientation.

To add a further complication someone's sensual, aesthetic, platonic and queer platonic orientations need not coincide with either their sexual or romantic orientation. (A somewhat contrived example would be someone who will cuddle with anyone; only kiss cis gendered people and only have sex with women.)

Both of them would need to be clear about what they actually want from the relationship.

19 hours ago, iigolden said:

Yeah, pretty much. You can still be aromantic, and want to date, despite not feeling any attraction to a gender.

Attraction does not equate to romantic attraction.
Many other forms of attraction exist, no matter that many societies downplay them and put romantic attraction on a pedestal.

On 29/10/2016 at 11:52 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Its not really the fault of those aven users, if you aren't out to someone and you try to describe an alloaro person to them you get the same reactions. Its basically (internalised) amatonormativity.These stereotypes are cultural, people have grown up with them, aro, not aro, ace or gay or poly or whatever.

The primary focus of AVEN is asexuality.

With aromantic asexuals being in a minority within the asexual community. Similarly aromantics are a minority within the LGBT+ and straight communities.

On 29/10/2016 at 11:52 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Everyone was taught that success is settling down with someone attractive in a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship with 2.5 kids a dog and a house. People who don't end up like that are considered unhappy losers, even if they actually are happy and their 'lifestyle' is a conscious choice based on their natural needs.

Or happier than if they are doing the amantonormative thing. There often can be an attitude of "how can you know it's not for you if you've never tried it?"

On 25/10/2016 at 11:14 PM, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

This is a great question, and a hard one to answer. If we want to make a list of never married famous people, that would be much simpler. But, we can't assume that an unmarried person is aromantic, nor that a married person isn't aromantic.

There is the obvious complication of differing social attitudes towards coupledom and/or marriage. Along with arranged (even forced) marriage.

5 hours ago, Natkat said:

I try as much as posible to say "from my point of view" or "I experience it this way" to make it open that for others it can be very different experience. I think its relevant specially when we talk about aromanticism because while we have alot in common there are alot of different ways we may experience it, and I do think I fall into the trap myself once in a while because I identify as non-monogamyous and aro and somethimes find it hard to seperate those things.

Somewhat understandable to confuse the two, given that mononormativity and amantonormativity are closely intertwined. (With polynormativity also seeming to be related to amantonormative ideas.)
Whilst I feel that being aro plays a part in my being disinterested and to some extent repulsed by monogamy it is certainly not the only factor.

5 hours ago, Natkat said:

I think a person who ex want a relationship has a different view than a person who want to live a single life, and a person who is Aro and very repulsed by romance may see things differently than a person who doesnt mind.

The presence of absence of romantic repulsion, which is in itself quite complex and multifaceted, does not imply if someone will want relationship(s) or a single life. Someone could be highly romantically repulsed whilst desiring (non romantic) relationships. Similarly it would be possible to be romantic repulsed whilst also being into things which are romantic coded.

21 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I'm thinking couchsurfing is a good way to kinda "date" platonically. It's a site were people can offer to host people who're visiting their city. Or just to meet up and show them around. I've hosted a few people and it's always been a good time. You go out eating, get to know one another. A few times I think they would have been open to sex had I wanted it. And there's no expectation of any romance because they are just there for a few days at the most.

I've never encountered this concept before.

10 hours ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

The entire concept of marriage squicks me the heck out in a big way because romance repulsion,

I've never really got why people would want to do it.
As for the wedding if you want to hold a party then why not just call it a party?

10 hours ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

Tbut even if some bizarro sequence of events were to happen that would make me okay with it (which is about as likely as me suddenly gaining the ability to phase through walls),

Or i'd have gone insane!

10 hours ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

I feel like anyone I would marry would almost certainly be the kind of person who would probably see it the same way I would and treat it more like a matter of paperwork a la filing taxes than any gigantic party-worthy life event.

Maybe some kind of arranged marriage, to someone rich...

5 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

This sounds exactly like me... though I've never been checked for autism or anything.

You could try this test. http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

15 hours ago, Kaiger Pufflehugs IV said:

We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. 

Or possibly the Bynars, who do everything in pairs.

Whereas the Borg understand the concept of teams of more than two. Hence Seven of Nine.

On 02/09/2016 at 8:03 PM, Saaaro said:

I get pretty frustrated with comments from ace-aros, even on here, that talk about aromanticism and asexuality like they're the same thing.  There's do much in the aro experience and advice threads that doesn't apply to arosexuals at all. Like no, I can't just avoid people/relationships entirely and still be happy. 

I'm not sure this applies to all aro aces. No reason why they cannot be social or desire "relationships", just ones which are free of romance and sex...
Many romantic coded things are not sexual and it seems fairly random what aros might like in this respect.
 

On 16/10/2016 at 8:52 AM, aussiekirkland said:

I don't know what my point was but I think it would be easier for everyone if they would start these discussions with "as an *insert orientation*" and/or end it with "these are my personal experiences as an *insert orientation*" because all of us have different perspectives which can be vastly different between arosexuals, aro aces and romo aces.

On this platform it's usually fairly obvious what someone's romantic and sexual orientations are.
Whereas with tumblr and facebook this tends not to be the case.

15 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I probably wouldn't feel confortable dating anyone know without explaining my romantic and sexual orientation first. Because otherwise I would be so concious of the person I'm with possibly expecting some very different thing from the date than I am. But in principle I'd love to go on dates again.

Possibly also finding out their orientations before hand too.

15 hours ago, Holmbo said:

Also, there's not really much difference between a romantic date and just to people getting to know each other better platonically. Do you feel like you specifically want a romantic date?

There isn't really a good term for (queer) platonic "date". Certainly not that most people would understand.
Also many aros are interested in romantic coded things (including sexual relationships)...