The Angel of Eternity

Back in December I was visiting teachers at my old high school. When I went to visit my Spanish teacher he eventually asked about my sister's engagement. [He knew my sister and wanted to be more up-to-date on her life] This led him to ask if I was engaged. I said no. He asked if I'd had bad experiences with girls in the past. I said that no, I just didn't want to date people. Keep in mind, I'd been asking myself if he was the romantic type. Boy was I right. He knows I write poetry but my poetry is NOT about romance. It has to do with spiritual growth and adventuring. Anyway, he goes on to say I'm VERY romantic because I write poetry and says that if I kiss a girl, that would result in more poetry. Bless his heart, he seems so blinded by the romantic side of things to have to romanticize like that.

With that said, what would you, the reader of this post, have done in this situation? How would you have countered any stereotypes made?

I think what people fail to recognize is that there exists more than just romantic love or, at the very least, fail to recognize other forms of love as equal to romantic love. At least you can look forward to an ace/aro community upon going to college!

I would think that no, not really because some people may have a deep platonic bond with their sexual partners. Just because someone is sexually attracted to someone but not romantically attracted doesn't mean they're not more deeply connected elsewhere. And even if there is no deeper connection, it's still their preference and as long as the relationship is mutual, it's all ok and there should be no reason to judge.

When I was in junior high, a girl had invited me to sit with her friends one day at lunch. In the middle of this interaction, she said to me, "I love you, do you love me?" There was one word in my head at that time.......AWKWARD! (I don't even think I gave her a response!)

Over time, as I have replayed that scenario in my head, I've been thinking about how I could have responded. Looking back, I've been thinking that it would've been wise to say something along the lines of..."When you say 'love', what do you mean? There are multiple types of love; romantic, platonic, familial and (my favorite) spiritual love."

I identify with no religion. I see it as limiting to have a label because anything not fitting into that label one might reject. One should not reject any of their experiences. Rather, I see religions and labels as "channels" with which you can gather information. You don't want to limit yourself to just one channel, right? Not all your experiences will be accepted that way! What I do is I try to live in the I AM, the present moment, with acceptance of all my experiences, no matter what they are. PM me if you have questions.

On 9/21/2018 at 6:36 PM, aro_elise said:

sorry to derail the conversation but if you have any questions i'd be glad to help.  i'm sure you'll only regret not doing it sooner.  good luck.

Sorry I have responded so late! A question I have is: Are you vegan or trying to be?

W d d d d d d d d d d d d d d !

@honeybug It does sound like you could be aro. You may be young, but that doesn't invalidate your feelings. You can identify as aro, if you want, and change it later, based on if your feelings change in time. Do what's best for you.

I voted "born aromantic", but I think it may be a little bit of both. As it was said earlier, anti-LGBT+ people would argue that you could "un-become LGBT+" if you "became LGBT+." So, I'd say it's more of a "being born" type of thing.

I watch McHusbands, a YouTube channel of two gay dads and their twin daughters. I actually wondered what it was like to be a gay man like they are, because they're so full of energy, plus, they're vegan, which is what I'm trying to do!

I'm in a similar predicament with a few LDS missionaries right now. I know I don't want to be a member of that religion, but they were definitely pressuring me last night. So, tomorrow when I go to their church, I plan to tell them that I plan to cut all contact with them. Now, it seems as if you don't want to cut all contact with this person and you shouldn't have to. But, as hard as it may be, just build up the courage, psych yourself up to say you don't want to be partnered up with them. Definitely trust your gut on this one.

"You never know what the future holds." -My grandfather

Counter: YOU can never know what the future holds, either.

[roughly quoting] "When you grow old, you'll have a wife and six children." -My grandmother (talk about social constructs.....)

Counter: With the way the earth's population is headed right now, having six children doesn't sound like a wise idea. Plus, I don't think I'd be a very good father.

Hi. Hoping to revive this thread. I'm aroace and consider those as parts of my identity, but as to whether they're linked to my Asperger's, maybe, just maybe. I cannot say for sure. 

I would rather be able to scuba dive.

Would you rather have physical strength or mental strength?

On 7/8/2018 at 12:50 PM, Naegleria fowleri said:

Never understood why people used words like "cute" and "hot" when what they really meant was "good looking".

People seem to forget that these words have sexual and romantic connotations and that they mean more than just 'good looking.' A few years ago, when I was (probably) 16 or 17, a woman (the younger sister of a family friend) told me, randomly and out of the blue: "You're cute." Did I mention she was probably in her thirties or forties at the time? That's inappropriate. The same thing happened a couple months ago at a neighbor's moving-away party, except I didn't sense what I thought was 'flirting.' A woman (who appeared to be in her early thirties and whom I had never met) told me I was cute. Also, a few years ago, one of our family friends (who was probably in her mid-thirties at the time), who also happens to be our house cleaner, told me she thought I was hot. I forget the context, as we were talking about something else that led to this.

All in all, I believe what all these women meant was that I was 'good looking' or 'handsome.'

I remember, as a freshman or sophomore in high school, I had a dream where one of the girls at my high school had a crush on me and they were vocal to me about it. Instead of going out with her, I spent time with my friends.

@Holmbo May I ask what language this is?

I am asking this because it's been of interest to me. I used to take warm showers, stand in the shower and let the warm water run over me while, at the same time, wasting water. I have realized that warmer water might not be as good for the skin because it dries the skin out. Now, I like to take really cold showers, as in, I put the water onto its coldest setting (Wim Hof style) while rinsing myself. It feels good but in a different way than warm water.

I hope this question wasn't too inappropriate for anyone who might read this.

On 7/11/2016 at 2:38 AM, aussiekirkland said:

There's a point where monogamy is taken too far? Needing every single one of your needs met from a single person (particularly non romantic needs) sounds seriously unhealthy to me. I just can't understand it.

I agree. If I were in a romantic relationship as an asexual, I would let my romantic partner (assuming they're allosexual) have sex with someone else. Hell, I would probably even let them have another romantic partner if they wished! In fact, I would simply let them break up with me! It's THAT simple!

On 4/1/2018 at 5:57 PM, Abster said:

YMBAI you’re perfectly content being single the rest of your life 

I actually made a vow to do this a few years ago and I'm still sticking with it.

On 4/8/2016 at 8:15 PM, Spud said:

YMBAI you originally thought that everyone was faking their romantic feelings or crushes, until you realized they weren't and that you just didn't feel the same way as other people.

Exactly how I felt. I thought people were kidding when they talked about romantic or sexual stuff.