Aromantic non-asexuals: what does sex mean to you?

[Queen of Spades]

I started this thread out of pure curiosity. Alloromantics generally tend to view it as the ultimate act of love expression or something. But I guess that when it comes to aromantics, this is not the case. To me, It is about making each other feel good and having fun. If I have a strong bond with the person, I also feel comfort in addition to that. It is like showing that we feel at ease around each other. Whether we are buddies, good friends, best friends, or queerplatonic partners (or I experience queerplatonic feelings towards them), sex to me is like a bonus to the connection and doesn't influence it. The two elements just happen to coexist. 

 

Of course, regardless of orientation, everyone should bear in mind that the two sexual partners must respect each other whether there is any emotional bond between them or not. 

[NullVector]

Hi  

Maybe have a read of this thread, if you haven't yet? I think there's quite a bit in it that's relevant to the question you asked...

Also, I like your username! 

[launchpadtriumphant]

I think a number of factors play into how and if I enjoy sex, whether it be genuine physical attraction, how much I actually enjoy being around the other person (outside of sex), whether or not I feel that in the presence of this person my constant feelings of self-loathing will subside so both of us can enjoy ourselves, etc. 

 

Also, pardon my language, but when it's fun, it's really goddamn fun.

 

Sex for me is something that two people who trust each other on (at the very least) a physical level do to feel good about themselves or their partner. Any sort of emotional claptrap that gets saddled along with it gets in the way of the experience, honestly. Again, for me, at least. I agree with what you said about the two connections coexisting, that's pretty on the money in my experience. Intersection of sexual and platonic feelings are...well, not exactly my cup of tea. 

 

[Queen of Spades]

12 hours ago, NullVector said:

Hi  

Maybe have a read of this thread, if you haven't yet? I think there's quite a bit in it that's relevant to the question you asked...

Also, I like your username! 

Whoops, that thread must have escaped my notice :p. 

 

I'm glad you like my username. It represents me as an aromantic woman. I'm an ice queen in that my heart never "burns", but it can melt and become warm. Ice doesn't melt (naturally) all of a sudden, it takes time ;). Just like it takes time for me to form a strong (queer)platonic bond with someone. Besides, "frozen" does not mean "made of stone" ;).