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Aroace and desperately wanting a partner (HELP)


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So I finally found this person who seemed to accept that I was aroace and didn't make me feel pressure to perform romantically or sexually. But then she suddenly "dissappeared", kind of ghosted me. And since then a part of me feels ready to abandon my aroace identity. I don't know if it's because it feels to difficult to find someone open as aroace, or if my longing for a partner has been so strong that it actually changed my orientation. Anyhow I don't feel romance aversed anymore. 

I also hate that almost the whole aspec community (and the opportunities to find a qpr) seems to be located in United States cause there isn't where I live. 

In addition, I'm gay angled.

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Not every aroace is romance aversed, you don't have to be romance aversed to be aroace.

How comfortable are you with "performing romantically"? Not from the point of not wanting to fail a partner's expectations, just how do you feel for yourself. Neutral? Positive? Does it differ for different "romantic" activities? 

Where do you live? Maybe there's someone from your places in this forum who has some specific tips, or looking for a QPR themselves. 

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Thank you for your answer. I live i Sweden.

I became less romance averse since I embraced my aroace identity more and got more outside the closet with it. I mostly feel fine with physical non-sexual intimacy and I also want that in my life. But maybe not doing it in public. 

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