Longing Posted June 11 Share Posted June 11 So I finally found this person who seemed to accept that I was aroace and didn't make me feel pressure to perform romantically or sexually. But then she suddenly "dissappeared", kind of ghosted me. And since then a part of me feels ready to abandon my aroace identity. I don't know if it's because it feels to difficult to find someone open as aroace, or if my longing for a partner has been so strong that it actually changed my orientation. Anyhow I don't feel romance aversed anymore. I also hate that almost the whole aspec community (and the opportunities to find a qpr) seems to be located in United States cause there isn't where I live. In addition, I'm gay angled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekaterina Posted June 11 Share Posted June 11 Not every aroace is romance aversed, you don't have to be romance aversed to be aroace. How comfortable are you with "performing romantically"? Not from the point of not wanting to fail a partner's expectations, just how do you feel for yourself. Neutral? Positive? Does it differ for different "romantic" activities? Where do you live? Maybe there's someone from your places in this forum who has some specific tips, or looking for a QPR themselves. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longing Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 Thank you for your answer. I live i Sweden. I became less romance averse since I embraced my aroace identity more and got more outside the closet with it. I mostly feel fine with physical non-sexual intimacy and I also want that in my life. But maybe not doing it in public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.CORALINE. Posted June 16 Share Posted June 16 Hey there! Okay, let's stop for a minute and think: first of all don't worry at all about your orientation "label', romanticism and sexuality are both fluid and you can set your own boundaries as you like and prefer 😊 In a second stance, try asking to yourself: what kind of relationship would you like for yourself right now? A romantic one or a QPR? Would you like to kiss, hug, cuddle, have sex with that person? Act like an actual couple? If you're doubting about your aroace orientation it means you probably feel you're missing something, you have some needs that aren't satisfied right now... What do you exactly want for a relationship? Third point: do you think you're able to feel romantic or sexual attraction for someone? If the answer is no, you probably are still aroace despite your need to be in a relationship - attraction is important but it's not strictly necessary to build a healthy and happy relationship. For the fact most of the communjty members live in the USA, I can perfectly understand: as an European I don't know any other aroace and I don't know where to find and meet them, sometimes I feel a little alone for it 🥺 Anyway I hope it helped and that you'll find the answers you need inside yourself 💖 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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