Help me I’m so confused

[ZinniaBear]

Okay so I think I’m aroace but I had a girlfriend in 6th grade and I don’t know if I actually had a crush on her. I think I maybe liked her a lot as a friend to a point I thought it was a crush? I don’t know. Anyway I don’t know if I even can be aroace because I don’t know if maybe having a crush on someone in the very past makes you not fully aroace and I don’t even know if I DID have a crush on her. I could have been experimenting without realising! 😢 I’m so so so confused please help.

[Peggy]

Well, you could be aroace and just have misinterpreted your feelings for your friend, or you could be somewhere on the aro spectrum but not completely aro. For me, I have had like 1 crush in the past but I'm still not sure if it was actually a crush or not - I spent a lot of time deliberating whether I could identify as aro if I *maybe* had a crush, but ultimately realized that I'll never actually figure out if that was a crush, since it was several years ago, and that it doesn't really matter - I still experience less attraction than someone who's allo, and the aro (and grayromantic) labels feel right for me, so I've stopped focusing on something in the past. You should identify however feels right to you! If you think you're aroace, and it feels good for you, go ahead and use that label. 

[ZinniaBear]

Thank you so much!

[Ekaterina]

As far as I'm aware, a lot of aros during adolescent years mistake stuff for crushes. Strong friendship, aesthetic attraction, admiration of their skill, even just feeling comfortable with someone or finding them a nice person. Especially if they don't know they are aros at the moment and think everyone is supposed to have crushes, so they search for those in their life with a magnifying glass.