Question about attraction

[Anonymous]

Hello!

So I (16F) used to identify as aro ace. I never had crushes, or felt romantic attraction. I don’t really want a relationship (or sometimes i do idk)

However I really like girls, i a way I cant explain. I find them really beautiful and attractive, like I could scream with how beautiful they are, but never had a crush on one, and don’t think I would like to…

but recently I reallized that I always feel weird around a female teacher at my school. I always feel restless and nervous around her/dress nicely for our classes/ imagine us interracting/ really want her to notice me and think nicely of me. I dont imagine us dating or marrying like some of my allos friends do and do not want us to date. But i never felt that way, and don’t know how to describe it. It kinda fits the definition of a crush but at the same time it doesn’t… 

I  liked the label aro, but now don’t think it really fits me anymore. I however don’t think of myself as a lesbian/saphic… I don’t know what I am anymore and have trouble feeling… 

if you know something or have some advice, please let me know!  Thank you so much for reading ! :D

[P4R4D0X]

On 2/8/2024 at 2:38 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

 

Hello!

So I (16F) used to identify as aro ace. I never had crushes, or felt romantic attraction. I don’t really want a relationship (or sometimes i do idk)

However I really like girls, i a way I cant explain. I find them really beautiful and attractive, like I could scream with how beautiful they are, but never had a crush on one, and don’t think I would like to…

but recently I reallized that I always feel weird around a female teacher at my school. I always feel restless and nervous around her/dress nicely for our classes/ imagine us interracting/ really want her to notice me and think nicely of me. I dont imagine us dating or marrying like some of my allos friends do and do not want us to date. But i never felt that way, and don’t know how to describe it. It kinda fits the definition of a crush but at the same time it doesn’t… 

I  liked the label aro, but now don’t think it really fits me anymore. I however don’t think of myself as a lesbian/saphic… I don’t know what I am anymore and have trouble feeling… 

if you know something or have some advice, please let me know!  Thank you so much for reading ! :D

That is so hard to read with dark mode on lol

 

Ideas:

1. Platonic Attraction

Quote

Platonic attraction is a form of attraction that is defined as the desire to form a platonic relationship (friendship) with a specific individual, or to form a closer friendship with someone one already knows. The type of friendship desired may go beyond casual friendship and revolve around a willingness to engage in a very deep symbiotic friendship, as well as sharing interests and experiences. Some individuals only use the term platonic attraction when the desired friendship is close and intimate, while others include casual or otherwise less intense friendships in this attraction. Platonic attraction is not "a desire to have friends" in general, rather it is a desire to be friends with someone specific. One might feel intimidated or flustered when around this specific individual, like one could with a romantic crush.

2. Aesthetic Attraction

Quote

Aesthetic attraction is a form of physical attraction to an individual's appearance. It is defined as an attraction to the way someone looks, or how they present themselves. It is typically based on a desire to observe someone because one finds them aesthetically pleasing. It is often described as a similar feeling to looking at a nice painting or landscape. One way of experiencing aesthetic attraction is a stronger desire to admire or gaze at an individual; their physical features, their curves and shape, their bearing, how they move, how they dress, etc.

3. Alterous Attraction

Quote

Alterous attraction is a form of emotional attraction and desire for emotional closeness. It describes a feeling that is not necessarily platonic, but also is not romantic in nature. For some it may be in between romantic and platonic attraction, and for others it may be completely separate from the romantic/platonic distinction.

 

Just some ideas on what you might be feeling.

 

Oh, by the way, there are 3 of this exact same topic.

Edited February 10 by N1GHTM4R3

[organs and bone]

this may be helpful, maybe not.

 

it could be aesthetic attraction. it’s pretty much what it sounds like 🤷‍♀️ it’s not romantic attraction and a good amount of aros experience this and they are still aros!

Aesthetic attraction occurs when you find someone’s physical appearance attractive.

Feeling aesthetically attracted to someone often means you find specific parts of them attractive, such as their hairstyle, makeup, fashion, or physique.

If you feel aesthetically attracted to someone, you might feel content just looking at them and admiring their beauty rather than being physically close to them.

 

editing: here’s a good-ish article that may help you

https://www.wikihow.com/Aesthetic-Attraction

Edited February 11 by organs and bone
inserting in article link