Something is wrong with me lol

[Isa1116]

I can't do anything. I have so much unfinished school work that I know how to do but I just can't for some reason? I don't even know. I can just stare at the screen or paper and I try to force my self to do it but I can't. I know I'm just procrastinating and being lazy but I want to do the work. My parents expect me to get principles list or honor roll because my brothers did but I'm kinda an idiot. I just sit there knowing what to do but not be able to do it. It's kind of like I don't feel like school is a priority. I almost cry sometimes lol but something is seriously wrong with me and idk what it is.

Edited December 1, 2023 by Isa1116

[Neon]

You aren't being lazy. And there is nothing wrong with you.

Please remember that school does not define you. It's one aspect of one part of your life. In 10 years anyone asking you how you did in high school or college will be laughed out of the room.

My advice right now is to put down the homework and set aside your worries about it and go do something with the sole intention of relaxing for a couple hours. Whatever that means for you. Go do it. School is not allowed in that time, so you aren't procrastinating. It's not an easy task but it's helped me when I fall into similar ruts.

Finally, a lot of what you said is very concerning. Do you have someone you can talk to about these feelings IRL? If you do, please contact them, I think it's a safe bet they can help more than we can.

Edited December 1, 2023 by Neon

[Isa1116]

41 minutes ago, Neon said:

You aren't being lazy. And there is nothing wrong with you.

Please remember that school does not define you. It's one aspect of one part of your life. In 10 years anyone asking you how you did in high school or college will be laughed out of the room.

My advice right now is to put down the homework and set aside your worries about it and go do something with the sole intention of relaxing for a couple hours. Whatever that means for you. Go do it. School is not allowed in that time, so you aren't procrastinating. It's not an easy task but it's helped me when I fall into similar ruts.

Finally, a lot of what you said is very concerning. Do you have someone you can talk to about these feelings IRL? If you do, please contact them, I think it's a safe bet they can help more than we can.

Thanks. The thing is I have not really been doing my work at all? I keep trying but I can't. Multiple people have suggested that I have adhd and when my brother brought it up to my parents they just said I'm being lazy, which I am tbh. And I really shouldn't not be working because I am behind on so many assignments. 🙃

[hemogoblin]

Burn out is not being lazy. You need a rest. Fighting with yourself about that is only going to make it worse. You gotta actually be allowed to take a rest to get better. Your mind needs taken care of just like your body. I'm sorry your parents are putting this pressure on you and not appreciating you for you and letting you grow into your own person.

[Neon]

3 hours ago, Isa1116 said:

Thanks. The thing is I have not really been doing my work at all? I keep trying but I can't. Multiple people have suggested that I have adhd and when my brother brought it up to my parents they just said I'm being lazy, which I am tbh. And I really shouldn't not be working because I am behind on so many assignments. 🙃

Like @hemogoblin said, you seem burned out and really down on yourself for something that is far from life-or-death, not remotely lazy.

The reason you need a break is to get the stuff done. Take it from someone who's been there, the only way you are going to start doing it again is if you take a real step back, not one where you still peak around the corner at it every 5 minutes.

If we can't convince you that you aren't being lazy (you aren't), then you still deserve a break. Your academics should never come at the expense of your mental health and sense of self worth. No matter what.

[Isa1116]

3 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

Burn out is not being lazy. You need a rest. Fighting with yourself about that is only going to make it worse. You gotta actually be allowed to take a rest to get better. Your mind needs taken care of just like your body. I'm sorry your parents are putting this pressure on you and not appreciating you for you and letting you grow into your own person.

 

2 hours ago, Neon said:

Like @hemogoblin said, you seem burned out and really down on yourself for something that is far from life-or-death, not remotely lazy.

The reason you need a break is to get the stuff done. Take it from someone who's been there, the only way you are going to start doing it again is if you take a real step back, not one where you still peak around the corner at it every 5 minutes.

If we can't convince you that you aren't being lazy (you aren't), then you still deserve a break. Your academics should never come at the expense of your mental health and sense of self worth. No matter what.

I'm honestly not sure if it is burnout or not. Because if it is, then what caused it? I also don't think I've done enough work to be burnt-out. Like I haven't been working hard enough (which I haven't.) I feel like I've lost interest in things I used to thrive in or just life in general. It isn't even just in school, I like drawing and art but I rarely do it voluntarily. And I used to practice animation but I just can't commit to anything. I am always switching interest, moving from archeology to author or animation to astronomy and right now I randomly like Greek mythology? I know that I'm just a kid and my interest are changing but I feel like the years are somehow going by faster and really slowly at the same time?? I feel like every damn day is so exhausting and feels so long but when I look at how many years I have left of school and my childhood it just never feels like enough! I'm going to high-school is a couple of years! I don’t know what college or uniI wanna go to! How am I gonna get into a good school if I can't do good now? I don’t even know what I'm panicking about? I know it shouldn't matter much but with how the economy is right now life in the future is going to be so harsh if things don't change. Sorry for the ramble, I went off topic (apparently I do that a lot) and tysm to all who responded:,)

[hemogoblin]

4 minutes ago, Isa1116 said:

then what caused it?

School.

Life.

Homework.

Constant pressure from your parents to live up to someone else's legacy.

Your parents casual medical neglect and verbal abuse.

Chores.

Socialization.

Not having the tools to handle your likely ADHD.

Navigating life without management techniques and accommodations you need.

Thinking about your future.

Being overly aware of the economy.

Planning for schools that are years and schools away.

Quote

Burnout is a state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion.

There's not a level of work you have to achieve to be burned out. It's about not having the capacity to handle the work you are being handed. You described feeling like 90% of the things on the list I linked.

I'm sorry your parents have gotten this hard into your head and made you feel so negative and self-hating about yourself. This is not what parents should do. They should support and uplift and encourage and help you. Not constantly act like you're not good enough. You are. You are good enough. You are enough.

[Isa1116]

17 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

I'm sorry your parents have gotten this hard into your head and made you feel so negative and self-hating about yourself. This is not what parents should do. They should support and uplift and encourage and help you. Not constantly act like you're not good enough. You are. You are good enough. You are enough.

I'm not mad at my parents or anything. And they are a lot nicer(?) now mostly to my little sister ig but I feel like when me and my older brothers got in trouble how we were punished kind of stuck with me? People tend to get mad at me for being distracted. Sometimes I forget to text people back and my brother says I have selected hearing and purposely block him out. It's weird, I can hear what people are saying but I somehow don't pick up any information? Like I tend to have to be told things again and again. My parents say it's my phone and earbuds (it is a lot of the time tho lol) and sometimes when I ask them to repeat to many times they get mad, tell me to keep being lazy and keep using my phone because they'll just do it themselves y'know? I'm not mad and they are nice but I thing I'm just overeating a but.

20 hours ago, Neon said:

The reason you need a break is to get the stuff done. 

I feel like all I've been doing is taking a break. But I can never just stop thinking about it. I am now late on 2 more assignments because they were do yesterday. One of them I have to write one paragraph about a book I'm reading 3 times the school week. It is so damn simple but I still can't do it? It's sorta pathetic lol. I have no idea why I don't do it when I can and want to. I am writing this knowing I should do the simple weekly assignment to write two more paragraphs about a book and I'm not. I want to but I can't. Is my whole generation like this? My brother said all of my generation has adhd because of iPad nd stuff, pretty sure he's joking because I don't think you can gain adhd can you?

Edited December 3, 2023 by Isa1116
I just reread it and noticed, how can I write so much here but I can't do my damn work? What the frick is wrong with me? Lol

[hemogoblin]

On 12/2/2023 at 5:04 PM, Isa1116 said:

I feel like all I've been doing is taking a break. But I can never just stop thinking about it.

Unfortunately, that's not actually a break. If you're constantly worried about falling behind, then the stress and anxiety is all still there. You're never relaxing or stepping back from it. It's like laying in bed scrolling on your phone. It's not the same as sleeping just because you're in bed, and you're certainly not gonna get the benefits of sleeping from staring at your phone and engaging with social media. It won't get better until you are able to take an actual break. :(

On 12/2/2023 at 5:04 PM, Isa1116 said:

My brother said all of my generation has adhd because of iPad nd stuff, pretty sure he's joking because I don't think you can gain adhd can you?

No, you can't gain ADHD like that, but that doesn't mean that a combination of really terrible societal current events CONSTANTLY occurring, having over-access to a flow of bad news, social media and games all functioning like gambling and trying to addict you, and not enough true social connection/interaction isn't doing serious psychological harm to people, especially the younger generations who are being raised on this and never getting a break from it. It also doesn't mean you don't have ADHD.

On 12/2/2023 at 5:04 PM, Isa1116 said:

What the frick is wrong with me?

The problem is you're only being taught to only criticize and hate yourself.

There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a break or being nice to yourself. What would you do if a friend spoke about themselves the way you speak about themselves? You'd be upset and tell them good things about themselves, right? You gotta treat yourself like you would a friend. You're worth that.

On 12/2/2023 at 5:04 PM, Isa1116 said:

I'm not mad and they are nice but I thing I'm just overeating a but.

You're not overreacting by feeling your feelings. You are allowed to feel your feelings. Your feelings are valid.

[Isa1116]

1 hour ago, hemogoblin said:

Unfortunately, that's not actually a break. If you're constantly worried about falling behind, then the stress and anxiety is all still there. You're never relaxing or stepping back from it. It's like laying in bed scrolling on your phone. It's not the same as sleeping just because you're in bed, and you're certainly not gonna get the benefits of sleeping from staring at your phone and engaging with social media. It won't get better until you are able to take an actual break. :(

No, you can't gain ADHD like that, but that doesn't mean that a combination of really terrible societal current events CONSTANTLY occurring, having over-access to a flow of bad news, social media and games all functioning like gambling and trying to addict you, and not enough true social connection/interaction isn't doing serious psychological harm to people, especially the younger generations who are being raised on this and never getting a break from it. It also doesn't mean you don't have ADHD.

The problem is you're only being taught to only criticize and hate yourself.

There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a break or being nice to yourself. What would you do if a friend spoke about themselves the way you speak about themselves? You'd be upset and tell them good things about themselves, right? You gotta treat yourself like you would a friend. You're worth that.

You're not overreacting by feeling your feelings. You are allowed to feel your feelings. Your feelings are valid.

Thanks. I have kinda calmed down a little because I have gotten the highest grade you can get in my far a math quiz (my school has these 4 word level things instead of letters) and also on some of my English assignments.

But I have to preform a short play infront of my class one Tuesday, I wrote the script for it but I feel like it is too dramatic lol. I changed most of the plot because my classmates were doing comedies. I kinda like the new script more but my two group members have English as a second language and speak quietly so that might cause a bit of trouble while we're acting.

And my parents made me join the other kids in the quior at my church to sing a Christmas song. That one isn't too big of a deal since I like the song but I'm joining late into the practice and I keep singing louder and faster than the music lol.