Holmbo Posted September 10, 2023 Share Posted September 10, 2023 I want to share a reflection I have recently. It's not a huge thing for me so I'm not looking for advice, just wanted to see if anyone relates. I ID as aroace but the ace part took me really long to figure out. I'm sex positive and I enjoy depictions of sex in media when it's done well. I also feel sexual arousal, and at times it can be brought on by a person. For a long time I considered this to mean I experience sexual attraction. It wasn't until I posted about it on aven that another person pointed out that sexual attraction tends to be defined as actually wanting to have sex with someone. To feel arousal but not want to act on it fits under asexuality. That made sense to me and I decided to from then on ID as asexual. Experiencing sexual arousal from people but not wanting to act on it makes me feel contradictory. I enjoy appreciating for example actors who I find "hot" but I also want to be honest with my asexuality. I don't want it to feel like I'm making up crushes like I would do as a teen. There's also an element of sensual attraction which is hard to distinguish from sexual sometime. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isa1116 Posted September 11, 2023 Share Posted September 11, 2023 Whoa... I feel like that ALL the time! Tho my opinions on sex change all the time. Sometimes I'm sex-positive, sometimes I'm repulsed, and most of the time idc about it. It made me really question if I was ace-soec or not because I thought it was just puberty (I still think it might be). Either way I think I can kinda relate to what you are saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted September 11, 2023 Author Share Posted September 11, 2023 30 minutes ago, Isa1116 said: Whoa... I feel like that ALL the time! Tho my opinions on sex change all the time. Sometimes I'm sex-positive, sometimes I'm repulsed, and most of the time idc about it.. I'm never repulsed. I just don't meet anyone I want to have sex with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 TMI TMI TMI So I feel sexual attraction (pan, or actually skoliosexual) and not rarely, which makes me not asexual. But it can sometimes just go literally nowhere when reciprocated. 😞Like partially aego / akoi. So maybe graysexual fits. On 9/10/2023 at 7:13 PM, Holmbo said: I ID as aroace but the ace part took me really long to figure out. I'm sex positive and I enjoy depictions of sex in media when it's done well. "Sex depictions done well". Do you mean "aesthetic"? In that case, while it looks beautiful, those depictions are really wildly unrealistic. Maybe a tiny minority of humans are such demigods of gracefulness and elegance (e.g. the scene in Atomic Blonde with Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella = perfection, LOL) that they have sex like this. Also, they always instinctively know about the intentions of their partner, never have to stop and spell it out. The reality is more prosaic and sometimes even awkward. On 9/10/2023 at 7:13 PM, Holmbo said: There's also an element of sensual attraction which is hard to distinguish from sexual sometime. Sexual is IMHO more active and goal driven, but that's not necessarily true for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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