Jump to content

Questioning my romantic orientation— possibly aroflux?

Recommended Posts

Hello, this my first time in this site. I really need some help figuring out my romantic orientation, so all advice is welcome!

Am I really aro?

I’m very confused. As a kid and through my early teen years, I had a lot of crushes. Very stereotypical crushes too, I would definitely define myself as alloromantic at that point. I ended up crushing on this one kid at 13, let’s call him “E,” and it lasted for at least three years. (Although over time, the crush got less intense after I stopped seeing E around). I’m almost 18, and I haven’t had a crush since. After I stopped crushing on E, I had a brief period where I was kind of done with romance— I didn’t want to get married or have a boyfriend (I thought it didn’t sound worth it lol). 

It’s been around two years since I first developed my crush on E, and I haven’t had another crush since. I’ve seen boys that I’ve been physically attracted too, but my romantic feelings have remained elusive. Before, it pretty much went hand in hand for me. The people I was most physically attracted to were the people I also had romantic feelings for. And yet now I have no romantic feelings at all!! I did have one very brief stint where I felt crush-like feelings to a different guy after E, but it was pretty short and I actually became romance-repulsed to the guy, although I was still nervous around him.

I found the label aroflux and was very happy with it, because it explained my changes in attraction, but now I’m not so sure. Can I still identify as aroflux when it seems like I’ve only had one major change (from alloromantic to somewhere in the aro spectrum?) It seems like most aroflux people have major changes quite frequently, unlike me. But what other label fits me? Even though I feel cupioromantic/demiromantic right now, I’ve had “love at first sight” crushes in the past. Now I’m wondering if I’m even aro at all, and just haven’t happened to had a crush in a while, which would honestly really bum me out, bc this community has been so welcoming and understanding. Anyway, thank you for reading this essay. All advice is welcome!!

PS- I don’t know if this clears anything up, but (with some exceptions) I also find romance to be generally annoying in books/tv shows. It just feels so cliché and unnecessary, and often underdeveloped.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

It’s honestly your choice, I don’t fully know the whole aro flux label or what specifically makes it that way, but it’s often what feels best that’s right.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm aroflux and My 'aro-ness' does change a lot and I kind of have a crush on someone rn. Idt that means I'm not aro-spec though. If you feel comfortable using the aroflux label, then you should. :)

45 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

I don’t fully know the whole aro flux label or what specifically makes it that way

It means someone whose orientation fluctuates along the aro spectrum but it can also mean fluctuating along the aro and allo spectrums. I depends on the person. :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...