Guest Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 I feel like anybody who I have/had a relationship (of any kind) with is just bad. To me, they're either three things annoying and a nuisance, too much work, or actually good but I don't put in the same effort which causes it to fail and I end up pushing them away. I sometimes just feel like a bad daughter, friend, etc. Way too afraid of abandonment too my new dog was bonding with my mom earlier today and I got unreasonably jealous so I just decided not to put any more effort into it and give up me and my dog's bond. It's silly and shouldn't be that deep but this happens with me and other people too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 It's called self-sabotaging, and it isn't silly. It happens to a lot of people who fear rejection or failure. The reasons for this fear, and why people compensate by ending a relationship before it can fail, are personal and complex. It's not a simple matter of saying "Okay, I won't self-sabotage anymore", it takes a lot of reflection and healing. Give yourself time to develop healthier interpersonal skills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isa1116 Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 Oh wow. I do that a lot too, especially recently. I don't really want friends? Idrk why, but I when I almost make a friend I tell myself, "you don't need another person to disappoint." And it really sucks, because it's a lose-lose situation. I make a friend and disappoint them or I don't make a friend or leave a friendship and still hurt someone. Idk what to do but I hope you feel better:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 20, 2023 Share Posted May 20, 2023 I can kinda relate to this? I mean I’ve had friends that slowly drift apart, and I worry about that but I don’t do anything about it, despite how much I don’t want that. I mean I want to I just can’t get myself to do so and I just feel like a jerk for not. I’ve had surprisingly little experience with strong friendships or love so that’s one of the many reasons that I’m not even close to sure I’m aroace. Not having any experience is kinda the main thing holding me back, but at the same time that’s kinda more proof in a way. I don’t know I’ve spent over a month making some large connection web of proof that I might be, and I’m ashamed that I even need to do so. Though as usual, the fact that I’m trying to measure attraction with logic and analysis just shows that the feelings aren’t even there. XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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