I've gotten myself into a romantic pickle and don't know how to get out

[Anonymous]

Essentially, the title.

Since 1st semester, I've been bugged very hard about this guy named Daniel who everyone says has a crush on me. I've basically been begged to give them my Instagram in exchange for them giving me his Instagram so we can talk to each other or whatever. I have tried to weasel out of this but alas they cannot seem to understand my constant avoidance as a sign that maybe, just maybe, I have no interest in a boy I have literally never talked to prior to this and his character traits annoy me.

I've somehow made it worse and given myself a double edged sword to weld.

Problem 1: One time in one of my classes, someone noticed the rainbow sticker on my laptop and asked me if "swing that way"

My dumbass, thinking I could generalize "swinging that way" to mean the WHOLE LGBTQIA+ community said "yeah, a bit"

And now all the boys in said class think I'm a lesbian. Which is basically the same as them thinking I'm straight but now I get shown pictures of women I have never seen before and asked "would you hit her?"

Problem 2: Was approached in the caf one day to be asked the same burning question of "do you have snap? do you have insta?" and for once in my life I tried to get it over with and actually gave out my insta and got daniel's back in return.

I think this might cause MORE problems, and I realized this after giving it out, and then getting bombarded with comments like "go get yo man!" and suchlike.

 

So, I've made 2 huge mistakes and I don't know how to go back on it. Do I come out as aroace? Do I do smth else? Should I get teachers involved or would that make things worse??? at some point I think this bs is probably harassment but unsure as I think they come from good faith but god is it affecting me.

HELP ME???

[AroAcedragon13]

Oh my. I don't think coming out is the solution unless you really want to. I think you should probably get some adult with some authority involved whether that's a teacher or a counselor or someone else. Even if the teachers/adults make it worse then at least they are aware of what's going on. This could be harassment or some sort of bullying. I would say just ignore them but I know how difficult that is. I don't know what your school is like but in mine coming out would make things so much worse so personally coming out would be my last resort scenario. I know how much shit like this can effect you I've gone through it and I'm still going through it.

[Anonymous]

4 hours ago, AroAcedragon13 said:

Oh my. I don't think coming out is the solution unless you really want to. I think you should probably get some adult with some authority involved whether that's a teacher or a counselor or someone else. Even if the teachers/adults make it worse then at least they are aware of what's going on. This could be harassment or some sort of bullying. I would say just ignore them but I know how difficult that is. I don't know what your school is like but in mine coming out would make things so much worse so personally coming out would be my last resort scenario. I know how much shit like this can effect you I've gone through it and I'm still going through it.

i mean the ppl who think i'm a lesbian are actually totally normal around me and even explicitly stated it's cool w/ them.

in general our school is quite progressive (Canada isn't a lot like the US in that regard), so even if smth didn't go well there's admin(s) i can run to that are 1000% accepting and could sort it out/get in touch with the sorting out people

4 hours ago, AroAcedragon13 said:

This could be harassment or some sort of bullying.

have considered this. google defines harassment as mean comments and such (examples I'm seeing include racist remarks, bullying, and the like), and I'm not sure how to tell whether smth is bordering on good spirits or I'm actively being made fun of in this case (having autism is a barrier to say the least)

i tend to be a generally tolerant person (which can come to my disadvantage) so i have been putting off telling someone (because it's all been on-off for approx this whole school yr and i generally make it a rule to never remind them of the subject. they usually come to me abt it) and even then like i said above i don't entirely know if this is smth worth telling bc it's not bullying (i haven't explicitly said to stop and idk if it even counts as bullying) but it's just annoying and occasionally stressful essentially feigning compliance by peer pressure. TONS of peers. like if i count all the ppl who've ever mentioned this topic i'd say like 5+ people and i only know like 2 names

[AromanticAardvark]

Unfortunately I've been there and I don't think there's much you can do, except to ride it out and try to give as little of a satisfying reaction as you can. So try to act like it's weird that they're asking (especially for the "would you hit" questions), and don't outright ignore them but don't get angry or annoyed (or flustered, if at all possible)

[Picklethewickle]

You really don't owe anyone an explanation. You can turn people down no matter your orientation. If you do want to tell people about being aroace, only tell it to those who are trustworthy and respectful. Unfortunately, telling people you are aroace doesn't protect you from being harassed, it just opens you up to new forms of harassment.

Can you block him on instagram? Can you tell him "I don't want to get closer to you, I got bullied into sharing with you, and this whole thing has really offended me and put me in a bad situation." Can you say that to your friends? The words are admittedly harsh, but they are the ones in the wrong.

When your friends show you pictures asking "Would you hit her?" can you tell them "Don't send me pictures of people, that's creepy."

[Anonymous]

35 minutes ago, Picklethewickle said:

When your friends show you pictures asking "Would you hit her?" can you tell them "Don't send me pictures of people, that's creepy."

they aren't sending the pictures but rather showing them from their phones