Unable to relate

[Needlemouse]

People have a lot of different experiences. And people have different meanings for gender, and what it feels like to them. 

It's impossible for me to relate, or even understand it when they say that gender is a feeling, and it's an internal sense of self.

How am I supposed to know my internal sense of self?

My mind tells me I'm definitely not a girl, and not a boy. I don't feel right categorized with either, even if I felt like a boy, or if it ever were to happen, a girl. I don't want to be Non-binary.

I hate how everything is so gendered, too. And how I constantly get misgendered. "She/her" this and "she/her" that. And health class isn't helping. Where, even after telling the teacher about this, I still get misgendered.

I don't get my feelings. 

Maybe I'm just confusing "dysphoria" with dysmorphia. Maybe every cis girl hates her body. *Shrugs*

 

[Picklethewickle]

Do you hate your body? While many developing girls hate the way their bodies are objectified and sexualized, it isn't common for girls to hate their bodies simply for being. What would feel like a comfortable body to you?

As for having difficulty determining your gender as an internal sense of self, have you explored the thought that you don't experience gender this way? If you don't relate to gender, what are your thoughts on being agender?

[Needlemouse]

6 minutes ago, Picklethewickle said:

Do you hate your body? While many developing girls hate the way their bodies are objectified and sexualized, it isn't common for girls to hate their bodies simply for being. What would feel like a comfortable body to you?

As for having difficulty determining your gender as an internal sense of self, have you explored the thought that you don't experience gender this way? If you don't relate to gender, what are your thoughts on being agender?

I hate my body. A more comfortable body to me would be one that's neutral. I don't believe I have explored the thought of not experiencing gender that way. Being agender sounds like it would be freeing.

[Keith]

21 minutes ago, Eclipse said:

Being agender sounds like it would be freeing.

Based on this answer and your experiences I think you might be agender! But bare in mind that I don't know you personally, and even if I did, I'm in no place to tell you what you are and what you're not. So I suggest you to do research about being agender, and if it feels right, I say go for it!!