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Frayromantic, Lithromantic (Akoiromantic), Something Else?

Guest Slick Nik

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Guest Slick Nik

So I am confused. I've seen terms such as frayromantic, lithromantic (akoiromantic), emophilia, and so on, BUT none of them are quite right (I like to micro-label myself). I fall "in love" fairly quickly, or at least I want romance with the person and become obsessive; like infatuation. However, once I'm in a relationship with the person, no matter the nature of the relationship, I fall out of my feelings just as quickly and I become emotionally unavailable to them. 

To elaborate, I'm an overly socially anxious extravert and I love receiving affection. Cuddles, hand-holding, hugs, the whole shabang. What I mean is that I want that sort of love with people close to me, but I cannot initiate it or play a huge role in making it happen because it's super awkward for me and I overthink it. 

And I have crushes just like anyone else. I've been in several romantic relationships up to this point and most of them were ended by me so I wouldn't waste their time on someone that just couldn't reciprocate their feelings anymore.

It's like putting in the effort and hard work to showcase a musical in high school and then it got canceled because the cast decided they didn't want to be in it and there isn't enough time to recast. And it's honestly distressing. 

I'm not frayromantic I've fallen for many of my close friends and had this issue. I'm not akoiromantic I really enjoy relationships and being in them. I don't have emophilia, I'm not even sure if I can call what I experience "falling in love" or if it's just unhealthy infatuation. So please, if anyone has a clue or would even just like to discuss it I'd appreciate it.

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Guest Slick Nik
8 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

If you feel lithromantic/gray-romantic/aromantic don't suit your purposes, then you're most likely going to need to coin your own term. =)

I was just talking about limerence in another thread. You may be interested in that info as well.

Thank you! I might debate it more before doing anything like that :> 
Limerence is definitely interesting, thanks for sharing it with me! 
(I took the quiz and got 42% so that's fun)

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