CareLuv Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 Hello all – hope you are all hanging in there. I am posting because I am wondering about other people’s thoughts regarding aromanticism versus an avoidant attachment style. I have identified as aromantic for years now, but now in therapy, my therapist and I are examining my attachment style, which is definitely avoidant… I am trying to figure out how to tell the difference between having that attachment style and knowing if I am aromantic. I still think I’m aro, but it does make me question myself. Anyone have any thoughts? I’d super appreciate any insights you may have!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atypique Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 What do you mean by avoidant attachment style ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the more the merrier Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 (edited) 6 hours ago, CareLuv said: Hello all – hope you are all hanging in there. I am posting because I am wondering about other people’s thoughts regarding aromanticism versus an avoidant attachment style. I have identified as aromantic for years now, but now in therapy, my therapist and I are examining my attachment style, which is definitely avoidant… I am trying to figure out how to tell the difference between having that attachment style and knowing if I am aromantic. I still think I’m aro, but it does make me question myself. Anyone have any thoughts? I’d super appreciate any insights you may have!! Hey! You might find this thread beneficial! One idea within these posts is that you can be both. (This comment by NotHeartless touches on your question too!) Is your therapist accepting towards aromanticism? Some people have answered this question by observing differences in non-romantic bonds. Others, through therapy, have come to realise that aromanticism still resonates as truth, even if their attachment style is now quite different. We’re thinking about an aro reading group here, and an initial & upcoming choice is Platonic by Marisa Franco. It's so good on avoidant attachment. I’m (mostly) not avoidant myself, although I’m also far from secure, and the passages on avoidance are so illuminating. I don’t know if you like to read, yet I would recommend it you so much! As a little heads-up, if you're aplatonic or if you might not be plato-favourable, the title is very much the essence of the book. You may also be aplatonic and not mind friendship-focused reads. Just to sprinkle this in here! Thank you for sharing your question with us! Edited February 12, 2023 by the more the merrier 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CareLuv Posted February 12, 2023 Author Share Posted February 12, 2023 @the more the merrier thank you so much! I didn’t realize there were so many other aro folx out there asking the same question! This helps me a lot and makes me feel less alone. I don’t know if my therapist even knows what aromanticism is to be honest. I’m going to bring it up at our next session to see what he says. I’m definitely going to check out your book recommendation though - my therapist recommended Attached by Amir Levine and it’s ALL about romantic relationships and it’s hard for me to relate to a lot of it. Thank you again!!! @Atypique hello! Thanks for the reply. I wouldn’t be great at explaining it myself, but here’s a link if you’re interested! https://www.psychalive.org/anxious-avoidant-attachment/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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