Jump to content
  • 0

Trying to figure myself out


Indigo_Rabbit
 Share

Question

Almost a month ago, I realized I was lithromantic. Now I'm still trying to figure things out and I'm really confused. For one, People keep saying it's just commitment issues and I can't figure out if I really do have issues or I'm lithromantic. I lose feelings once they like me back and sometimes I lose those feelings instantly but sometimes it takes a few hours or even a whole day. I also want a relationship with that person until other people find out we might date because it feels weird having other people knowing. 

Also can someone explain Cupioromantic to me because I searched it up but I still don't completely understand it?

Any advice is great and sorry if it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm still new to this. Thanks!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 answers to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0

cupioromantic describes a romance favorable aro for short. basically being you experience little to no romantic attraction but you desire a romantic relationship. here are some threads i found regarding cupioromanticism

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I think even if it is just commitment issues, that's still a valid way of being aro. It's not about the cause, it's about that you currently experience romantic attraction in that way. If you feel comfortable with the label, then I don't see why you couldn't use it. It's just a descriptor used to help you describe your experiences, not a diagnosis

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 0

I think the difference between an "issue" and an identity in these contexts is your feelings on it. Does identifying as lithromantic help you (describe your feelings, connect with a community you can relate to, feel like you belong, etc.)? Do you want to identify as lithromantic? Are these feelings you accept that you have and will likely continue to have, even if they upset or frustrate you - or are these feelings you would like to seek professional help to try and change? Are these feelings you reject to a point where it would bring you upset or pain to identify as lithromantic?

But I personally think of "issues" in this context as choices rather than feelings. Ie, you maintain attraction to someone but choose to not pursue a relationship out of fear/anxiety of intimacy. I also don't think not wanting to, not being able to, or not being ready for commitment inherently translates to an "issue" (which has quite negative connotations). That's a very amatonormative perspective people are feeding you.

Also remember that it's okay if a label is indeed a phase. It's okay to identify as lithromantic right now, even if you later outgrow the label and it no longer suits you. That doesn't invalidate how you feel now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Answer this question...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...