EternallyTBD Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 I’ve been struggling with this for a little while now, hopefully someone can help : ) When I was little I had a “crush” on my best friend as we grew apart and then together and he eventually maybe started to love me back over the course of five-ish years. But more recently I went through some hard times with anxiety and gender and probably depression that was semi-triggered by the realization that maybe I’d never loved him to begin with. I was just sad for a while but I kept turning back to my desire for a relationship when I fell apart. Then afterwards, when I accepted that I didn’t love him, I would just fall into depression again. Then there were some other kind of romantic moments that could have just been platonic that also mostly involved both of us crying that I probably shouldn’t post online that just made me feel like I was falling apart. But for the most part I was just back where I started. After my gender revelation, I started thinking about my sexuality. I’d kind of always known I’m ace, but I thought maybe demiromantic for a while, mostly because we’d always been friends and I’d never felt the same way for anyone else. But demi didn’t explain why I’d invented myself a crush, so I turned to cupio and thought “hmm, this makes sense”. But now I’m seeing all of you aros who seem happy and whose posts I see myself in and I think “huh, maybe I’m aro and I don’t have to be sad that I’ll always want something I’ll never feel”. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that I wouldn’t really want a romantic relationship if I had the chance, but I still get really lonely sometimes. So, in conclusion, I am clueless. Also, that was really long so thanks for listening to my problems! Thank you for any advice you might decide to give. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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