Tallow Posted September 25, 2022 Share Posted September 25, 2022 (edited) So back when I had my first relationship, I always felt like something was off, but I could never pinpoint what. I know now that it was because I'm on the aro spectrum, but I still don't know what the attraction I was feeling was. So I'm coming to you guys for help. I've looked through many many lists of what it's like to have a crush/romantic attraction, and I've looked at the different types of crushes and types of love and, well, just all of it. Somehow I still can't seem to make my mind up about what I was feeling, so here are some lists. Have fun!What I Did Feel/Experience - Felt flustered whenever I was near them. - Always wanted to be touching them and cuddling them (I'm ace so not in a sexual way). - Liked flirting with them and that's all I wanted to do, even when I got into a relationship with them. It got to a point where I was annoyed to talk to them normally and couldn't hold up a conversation because I was bored unless we were flirting. - Got butterflies whenever I thought about them/whenever they texted me. (This quickly turned into anxiety and not wanting to talk to them. I'm assuming this was because they gave me very little attention and I didn't want to mess anything up with the little chances I got.) - Fantasized about us cuddling/touching (again, I'm ace so not in a sexual way.)What I Did Not Feel/Experience - The desire to get to know them as a person or build a stronger emotional bond with them. - The desire to build a stronger relationship than we already had. I'm not even sure if I really wanted to date them in the first place. I liked how flustered and excited they made me feel, and I guess dating them was a way to keep those feelings in my life, but it wasn't really about them as a person. - I did not enjoy kissing them. - Although I subconsciously knew we were in a "romantic" relationship, I never really thought of it that way. I always thought I cared too much about their body (aka cuddles and the attention they gave me) and not enough about them as a person for it to be romantic. - I like the attention they gave me and how loved I felt, but once I was asked to give that love back, I struggled a lot. It felt fake. - Did not pay great attention to how they acted, things they liked, etc. My friends described crushes as wanting to get to know everything about them, but I didn't relate. - Did not fantasize or think about us doing romantic coded things such as going on dates or to school dances together. It just never crossed my mind. Do you think it was romantic attraction? Alterous? Sensual? Aesthetic? A mix? Lmk. Edited September 25, 2022 by Tallow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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