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I need help figuring things out.

Guest Anonymous


I have two topics I feel the need to discuss.

One, I am questioning my sexuality. I feel like I feel romantic attraction, but it's to the people I am close to. Yes, seems normal enough, does it not? But once I get with someone, it either just dies away like it was infatuation, or I notice I feel the same attraction with others. I can't tell if what I am feeling is love, or a strong and friendly emotional bond with my friends. It confuses me and causes me to hurt other people and/or myself. I have no idea what to call this, what it is, or if it can be fixed/how to fix it.

Second, going off of that. I feel that towards a close friend of mine. A very, extremely strong attraction towards them. Whether it's a in a friendly or intimate interest, I do not know. But said person happens to be Aro/Ace. They can tell I like them, joke and mess with me about it, etc. We're still good, good friends, even though they know I have some sort of feeling for them. And yet, the feeling hasn't gone away. Even though I don't think they like me, since they seem to be on the no romantic nor sexual attraction at all side of the spectrum.

Sometimes, though, they seem to drop hints and state that Aro/Ace is a spectrum. They'll say some Aro/Ace people will get into relationships and commit sexual acts, and some don't. They bring it up, not too often, but often enough and without a lot of reasoning to do so to make me suspect they're hinting at something.

I do not know what to do. They're getting my hopes up. But if they do even feel a little romantic attraction towards me, wouldn't I just hurt them? After all, I have no idea if I love them or if I like them as a friend. My feelings are really confusing. And if they are hinting at something, should I bring it up subtly or not? Should I leave it be? The thought won't leave me mind, hence why I am asking here.

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Thanks for sharing.

I think rather that only thinking about attraction consider more what kind of activities or commitment you'd like with this person. Then you can bring it up with them and see what they would be open for.

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