Squish or a less intense crush?

[lotusflower]

Im pretty sure I have had one crush and I had my "squish" during the same time period, but they honestly felt so different (Waaaaaaay less intense and surfaced leveled??). Whenever I saw my squish, I really wanted to talk to them, and thats honestly all I have to say abt them lol. Like yea, I wanted to talk to them and I'd make up excuses/go out of my way to talk to them.

I think this is just aesthetic attraction but sometimes I'd just stare at them, but not in a dreamy way or something, just really paying attention to what they were doing (dunno if it makes sense, but not really looking at *them*, just to what *they were doing*??) I've heard that ppl stare at their crushes too, but I've heard they zone out or something and that they are really focuses on how the person looks like. Example: a friend of mine had a crush on someone and they said the following "omg look at [insert same] look how cute they look like when they're writing in his notebook" While for me it was pretty much like " oh cool they're playing footbal, let's see what they will do with the ball "

I dont remember my physical reponses too well, but I do remember feeling really happy when I got the chance to talk with them,, but butterflies/nervousness?? I dont think so/I dont remember it. 

This is why I think its a squish, rather than a crush: I hardly ever thought of them when they werent with me and I never thought of idk, chatting them or something because I was already satisfied with the interactions we had in school. I never daydreamed about them either about "possible interactions" we could have. Like I said I had a crush and this "squish" at the same time. Like with a crush I could imagine us being a "couple" (only in theory but, still) but with this squish, I couldnt even picture it, my mind was just -blank- when I tried to imagine it and it felt super forced.

Also, when we both went to other schools (means I wouldnt see them anymore), I honestly didnt care, maybe I did a teeny tiny bit, but not enough for me to remember it. But I didnt necessarely wanted to be friends either, there was pretty much no desire for a bond I think? The only reason why I considered to be a "crush" at some point was because I wanted to look cool, by proving ppl I could develop crushes as well. And calling it genuinely a crush feels pretty weird.

Like there was this teenage show abt ppl who were at my age that time, basically teenage drama with crushes. I never crossed the point were I thought like "yess I relate to this crush story cuz it reminds of what I'm feeling towards them!"

I just wanted to have conversations with no underlying romantic intensions. But I just want to be sure, so, do you guys think this was a squish too? 

Edited July 17, 2022 by lotusflower
Typos

[Collie]

I think the individual stuff people can experience with a crush vs squish can vary, like some might get aesthetic attraction to a crush or a squish or they may get it with one and not the other.
I'd define a squish or a crush by what you want out of it. A crush, you at some level want a romantic relationship. A squish, you just really really admire them and n some cases want to be the best of friends.
By what you're describing, the one you're calling a squish does sound like a squish.