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Crushing on my aroace friend


Guest Eli
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Guest Eli

Hi! I don't really know if anyone would see this but I don't know where to ask either. I don't have much knowledge about aro / ace people and it just happens that I have fallen for one. 

I'm a 22 year old girl and I have an aroace friend. I did not want to tell her just because I have no idea how it works and did not want to make her uncomfortable but things happened and she ended up knowing. Turns out she kinda likes me too but that's the thing... should I do something about it? I know I should probably ask her but I was still wondering, is our relationship even possible? What kind of things should I do to approach her? Should I just try to spend time with her? I know this changes from person to person but idk, it would be great if anyone could answer with some recommendation I guess. Or in simpler words... is it possible that I'm just hoping for something that it won't be? Thank you in advance.

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Yes, you should probably talk to her. 

of course it is possible you are hoping for something that can't be. The question is what she is agreeable to and what you are agreeable to. It could be that she is ok with some form of non romantic relationship and is favourable to the idea of having sex even if it is not something she wants for herself, or maybe she is repulsed by sex and not interested in romance at all, or maybe... you hopefully get my point. There are many different aro experiences and many different ace experiences and just from saying she is aro-ace we have no idea how she would react.

You say she is your friend and you also say that she knows. So you have the option of just asking her what she wants. Ask her if that relationship you want is possible and respect her response.

Sorry if this comes off as blunt but you aren't going to find out what she wants without asking her. Remember, you say she knows your interest anyway, there's no hiding anymore.

Also as an aside, I reckon you should spend time with her anyway, you know, because she is your friend.

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