Jump to content

Intimacy without sex or romance

Recommended Posts

For a long time I thought I wanted a romantic relationship. But I like being aromantic. And I like that I'm not really constrained by the limits of romance. But I still want an emotionally intimate relationship with someone. Something like a QPR. But the essence of what I want is someone to talk to about anything and to support/be supported by and to cuddle with and tease and all that. I want to hold someone's hand and know that they will choose me

I'm so afraid that I'll never be chosen by anyone.

And I look at all my friends and my sister and they have partners, and I wonder how long it will take before they consistently choose their partners over me. If there's a competition, there is no competition.

I just feel like I don't have many people who try to keep in contact with me, and the ones who do don't make me feel unwanted, but they don't make me feel wanted either. There's a difference between feeling wanted and not feeling unwanted, you know? I just feel untethered to anyone and anything. And while that's great freedom for some people, for me it means loneliness. It means no one understanding why I'm upset because they're doing everything they can. 

Does anyone else feel like this? Or am I alone? I feel alone.

  • Like 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's easy to feel alone when few others feel the way that you do. It's just the nature of living on Earth; such a large surface area for people to be spread thinly across. Luckily for us, the internet has given us the ability to connect with each other from across tremendous distances, because we're not alone. I certainly feel like this at times, and while the feeling can be quite crushing and suffocating, I just need to remember that the people who can support me and love me for who I am exist somewhere. Sending you some platonic love and hugs!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

You are not alone. You have very succinctly summed up my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I can live with it and it doesn’t bother me much, but sometimes it just feels suffocating and unbearably lonely, especially as more and more of my friends are forming romantic relationships. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...