I'm so confused about my sexuality

[Turtles]

So, for a while I've identified as Pansexual and Genderfluid but I'm in a relationship rn and I think I only like him platonically because he kissed me, and I felt like throwing up. Idk if this is normal but I've never understood the concept of romance or sex and honestly it kinda grosses me out. I just wanna find out if I'm Aro/Ace or not and all of my friends are telling me to look into it so here I am. Please help!!! 

[roboticanary]

well feeling like throwing up when someone kisses you is certainly an interesting reaction. Have you had a look at people's experiences of romance or sex repulsion. Reading peoples experiences of them may be more helpful to working yourself out than asking directly if you are aro.

[Deltalorian]

Are you attracted to your partner? If you are drawn to them in a romantic/sexual way, you're likely romance/sex repulsed. It is possible to not be aroace but be sex/romance repulsed, and it's perfectly fine to be. Alternatively, you may find that you aren't particularly attracted to them, or you may be only slightly attracted to them, or attracted to them in only one regard. I agree with roboticanary, reading people's experiences with romance/sex repulsion will help you find your answer.

[DeltaAro]

On 6/12/2022 at 5:53 AM, Turtles said:

So, for a while I've identified as Pansexual and Genderfluid but I'm in a relationship rn and I think I only like him platonically because he kissed me, and I felt like throwing up. Idk if this is normal but I've never understood the concept of romance or sex and honestly it kinda grosses me out. I just wanna find out if I'm Aro/Ace or not and all of my friends are telling me to look into it so here I am. Please help!!! 

Obviously, this reaction hints at aromanticism and/or asexuality. But we cannot give you a precise "diagnosis". Perhaps try to have some more "life experiences"...

In my teens, I also experienced kissing as something very strange/weird. While I did not have such an extreme negative reaction, overall it was more negative than positive. But I now enjoy it (in a sexual context).

OK... this is something that would be judged as very pathological and dysfunctional by 99% of humanity, and I would not admit to it outside of aro-friendly circles, but .... I regarded my genitals as something more "peripheral", so it was not as weird to get close to another person with those body parts compared to all this "mouth action" (which honestly does not even feel as good compared to "down there").

FYI, I'm a 100%, stereotypical, "case closed" aromantic... and asexual, I guess, to some degree. I most strongly identify with aegosexual.

OK, I can enjoy sex, sometimes. OTOH I categorically hate romance, ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE, no exceptions.

Edited June 19, 2022 by DeltaV

[Karasu]

I don't know if it may help you, but I asked myself the same questions. Than, i found the book "Loveless" by Alice Olseman. The main character is aro/ace and discovers this during the book and i really connected with her. Maybe it helps you too, just to know how it can feel when your in that spectrum... I was more confused than ever afterwards, and still don't know exactly what really applies to me, but It opened my eyes to the whole spectrum and it really helped to know that others feel the same way. (The author also identifies herself as aromantic, as far as I know).

https://aliceoseman.com/ya-fiction-book/loveless/

here is the link to the summary :)