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I feel sorta alienated from my friends, any advice?


Guest Tuna
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Guest Tuna

Im in highschool, so of course people are talking about crushes and their partners and whatever else relates to that. And usually im fine with it, but recently their talk of dating and s*x is really bothering me and making me feel like I dont belong(I don't know any other aroace's or aro's either, which doesnt help). They know im aroace(and s*x-repulsed), so they 'attempt' to hide what they're talking about but then they'll have a 10-15 min conversation on stuff that im uncomfortable with and sometimes ill have to leave the room because of it. Sometimes it makes me hate myself because i cant handle it.

Other times they'll say something about wanting to date someone or about their crushes or something about a character being hot in a /r way and i just wanna dissolve into a puddle and cry because well, everyone else knows what romance is like and they like it, and that will never be something I'll understand(and i dont wanna have romantic feelings either, i just want to not feel left out sometimes). And sometimes, its as if theres a full understanding of something thats going on related to romance and im the only one who has no f-ing clue what's happening.

And like, i tried to be like "hey, i dont feel comfortable with these topics" with some stuff and they try to stray away from it, but it always ends up in the coversation at some point(which happens cause they're allo's and its a normal thing for them to talk about, but it happens a lot(almost every day i spend with them) and sometimes i feel like they've forgotten that im there and that very uncomfortable with those topics). I just dont know what to do anymore

 

Sorry if im all over the place and not making sense, this is my first time being able to talk about any of this and so i write about one thing and then remember another and write that aswell.

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Not sure how best to deal with the repulsion as that is not my experience, but I do have one bit of advice.

Find places where you can talk about your experiences. You mention this being your first time being able to talk about any of this. Online is a great place for an identity like this with so few people. From what you have said a place to vent occasionally may be useful, or finding people you are comfortable venting these frustrations with. Bottling these feelings up for years is not a great idea.

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