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Nice to meet you all. Can I call myself aromantic?


Mihiko
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Hello, I joined today and I quite recently discovered I can be in aromantic spectrum.

I read about what aromantic means and about signs of aromantic of other people. Many of them is matching: I never had a crush, I had to come out with some when I was talking with my friends. The possible crush was after all a 'squish' in fact. I'm romantic repulsive to idea of me in relationship and I not always understand the romantic actions of others. Or the concept of love itself. I always thought that there was something wrong with me because others found each other one or more partners and I didn't even want to think about it too much. And there is many other factors that indicate that I'm aromantic.

But I still enjoy some romantic stories. I have ships and I have few favourite romance stories that I like to read/watch. Does that mean I'm not aromantic and confuse it with something else?

Usually, when watching / reading other genres, I do not pay attention to whether there is any romance in it. I also remember that in some stories I felt repulsive at the sight of some romantic actions or did not understand how the characters came together even though others took it for certainty. I like some romances for other features like e.g. representation of the world or a dash. However, I really like some of them for a main relationship and I have a lot of ships or OC that I create to be with some character. Does that exclude me from being an aromatic?

Thank you if you choose to answer. I don't know if my problem is trivial and I shouldn't write it, but I'm very anxious when I finally start to understand something about myself and I don't have any other people to ask so I decided to write here.

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Hi! Of course you can call yourself aromantic. Being aro doesn't mean you have to be a romance negative, romance repulsed and hate story with romantic plot, there's no 'have to'. It's just a stereotype, there's a lot of diversity in the aro spectrum. For example, I'm a romance ambivalent aro and I like to read and write stories with my fav ship.

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Enjoying romance in fiction doesn't exclude you from being aro at all, lots of aro people love fictional romance, myself included. The aromantic experience is very diverse.

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As an extra, if you want to find experiences of people who like romance in idea but do not wish to participate in it themselves, one label used is Aegoromantic.

giving that a search might help you find experiences similar to your own.

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