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Is it possible to be aromantic but still be okay with kissing someone?


Unikitty
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Sorry if this is a dumb question I don't really know a lot of aro people in my life. I definitely feel like I fit aromanticism but if an opportunity to kiss someone I cared about came up, I wouldn't be opposed to it. Would this fall under sensual attraction? I am very unfamiliar with terminology so bare with me ^_^'. Romance makes me very nervous and I may be repulsed but in a different context I would be okay with kissing + cuddling.

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I think it's about intent. If you wanted to kiss them with romantic intent, or in a romantic context, it would probably be romantic attraction. Since you're a bit romance-repulsed and uncomfortable in those situations, it seems like sensual or alterous attraction to me though. Kissing does not have to be inherently romantic, but it's often labeled as such, and wanting to kiss someone doesn't make you any less aro!

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58 minutes ago, Unikitty said:

Romance makes me very nervous and I may be repulsed but in a different context I would be okay with kissing + cuddling.

I find kissing outside of a sexual context weird... Cuddling itself is ok, but kissing + cuddling combined feels weird to me.

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1 hour ago, DeltaV said:

I find kissing outside of a sexual context weird... Cuddling itself is ok, but kissing + cuddling combined feels weird to me.

Hmm I don't really understand this to be honest. Do you mean for you personally or in general? I do think kissing can exist out of a sexual context.. ^_^''

2 hours ago, blueberrydragon said:

I think it's about intent. If you wanted to kiss them with romantic intent, or in a romantic context, it would probably be romantic attraction. Since you're a bit romance-repulsed and uncomfortable in those situations, it seems like sensual or alterous attraction to me though. Kissing does not have to be inherently romantic, but it's often labeled as such, and wanting to kiss someone doesn't make you any less aro!

I see thank you!! Do you have any resources explaining alterous attraction more? I think that may apply to me but I honestly am having trouble understanding. Is it like queerplatonic? So many terms lol. Idk if I'd use them like, publicly, but it is nice to keep in mind!

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49 minutes ago, Unikitty said:

Do you have any resources explaining alterous attraction more? I think that may apply to me but I honestly am having trouble understanding. Is it like queerplatonic? 

This is just my personal experience, but alterous attraction is sort of an emotional connection to me. I care deeply about the person and want them to be happy, along with being a part of their life, usually in a platonic/queerplatonic way. A queerplatonic relationship, on the other hand, is a type of relationship that is not platonic or romantic. The types of things queerplatonic partners do really depend on the comfort levels of the people involved, so there is no one-size-fits-all. There is also queerplatonic attraction, (sorry for dumping so much vocabulary here lol) which is when you specifically want to be in a QPR with someone. For me, QP attraction is a combination of alterous attraction and a few other kinds. As for resources, the good ol' LGBTQ+ wiki explains alterous attraction pretty well, but there are probably other resources out there. https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Alterous_Attraction

50 minutes ago, Unikitty said:

So many terms lol. Idk if I'd use them like, publicly, but it is nice to keep in mind!

Same here. I don't want to blow people's minds with all this vocab, but for me it feels nice to have a personal understanding of my feelings with specific labels :D

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17 hours ago, Unikitty said:

Do you mean for you personally or in general?

Of course just for me. How could that be some objective truth? ?

17 hours ago, Unikitty said:

I do think kissing can exist out of a sexual context.. ^_^''

Yeah, sure… I just find it weird. 99% of humanity thinks otherwise.

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For me, sensual attraction often comes with kissing. Sometimes I get a random "kick" of sensual attraction. I see someone and I want nothing from them exept kissing. I guess that is how allosexuals must feel like.

Are you thinking about a specific person? If yes, maybe you could look for other sensual thoughts you have when thinking about them.

When I get sensually attracted to someone, I feel a strong desire to hug them, kiss them, touch their hair, their arms or their face. Some specific thoughts I have would be wanting to dance with someone and lean onto their chest or brushing my face against their lashes

Sometimes you feel more than one type of attraction at the same time. Nevertheless you are still valid! <3

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  • 3 weeks later...

Of course it's possible. Aromanticism is a spectrum itself, also when we're talking about romance-coded interactions like kissing, holding hands and et cetera. As aro person you can like all, a few or be totally repulsed by them. It's even mentioned in FAQ on the AUREA's site. You don't need to worry.

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