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I need help to figure out my gender


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Hello, I need help. Currently I think I identify as female as that is what I was assigned at birth, but recently I have started thinking about being  something else like for example non binary or even agender, but recently I also learnt about demigirl, though I am having trouble to know for sure. I don't have any dysphoria being female, but I am very stressed because I think about my gender a lot.

I have this problem where I usually put myself down as not "special enough" to be non binary and/or use different pronouns. It was also the case before I came out as aroace and I still feel like I'm "faking" it. I don't know for sure so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I have heard that you can be non binary just for the sake of fucking gender roles.

I really just need some feedback and maybe some help to figure things out.

Edited by Weirdo
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It's fine if you want to consider yourself non-binary- there aren't any Official Requirements for being NB enough to use the label.  It's just an umbrella category for people who aren't really on board with being considered "male" or "female".

Still, you don't need to be trans/NB to reject traditional gender roles! 

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I don’t have much advice because I am in a similar position. I am AFAB and have always identified as such. But, I’ve realized I like being/looking androgynous and I kind of like they/them pronouns. Am I demigirl? A cis woman with a more androgynous gender expression? I’m not sure. 

You can try things out and see how they make you feel. Pronouns, clothes, etc.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I understand you. Figuring out your gender is hard, confusing and tiring, and it can take you a lot of time.

You don't need dysphoria to be trans (binary or non binary).

A good way to figure out your gender is asking yourself how do I want to be seen in society?  If you like to be presenting feminine, and be seen as a girl, and act in a girly way, you might be a girl. If you don't care about how people see you or you don't feel related to the reality of being a woman, or you simply don't understand gender, you might be nb.

Just in case you didn't know. there are like 112 gender. The gender umbrella is bigger than we think, and reading the meaning of all those genders may be a good way to find out who you are. I say this because it also helped me finding myself. Another way is looking at memes. No jokes on it. It is a funny way to know if you relate to the experiences that some people of a determinate gender have. 

Well, to sum up. Probably I am not the first one in telling you this, but labels are supposed to make you be happy and proud. If you find a label that fits you, and that makes you happy, then go for it. If you don't find that label, then you should live your gender in a way that makes you happy, explore your gender expression and even try new pronouns if you want to. Gender never feels the same for everyone, we are all unique.

I hope I've been of help. Good luck, my friend.

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