Broken hearts

[_Katniss_Stan_]

Hello!

I am in kind of a confusing situation right now. 
So basically, my best friend is leaving the country for a year and I just can´t cope with it. And, yeah of course I will miss my friend because they are gone. I know that is legit.

But lately, I was wondering wether or not these feelings are a little more than friendship? I thought I was aro, but with every step I got emotionally closer to my friend, I was more caught up in jealousy. And when my friend slept at my house, next to me, I just feel so good about it. And so lonely when they don´t. I constantly want them to text me or text them, every night I send a good night message because otherwise I can´t sleep.
So another friend of mine suggested, that I might be demiaro and it would makes sense. However, right now it does not really change anything. If so, I would end up having those feelings alone. 

And now, since my friend is about to leave I just can´t stop crying. At nights, at work, whenever they are sending me nice texts. 

I asked (yet again) another friend how it feels for her when her heart gets broken after a breakup or something. And every single thing she described is what I am going through right now. The pain, the loneliness. This feeling like I need to learn how to live again.

I am sorry for the mess in this post, I am not even sure wether I really have a question. But maybe someone shares some of my experiences. Or does anyone have anything to say about broken hearts?

Greetings from Europe!

 

[Just a Bear]

I honestly don't know.  I think most of my feelings were alterous, and that I don't feel romantic attraction, but I don't know for sure

 

There was one friend who We weren't a couple, we were just friends, we didn't have romantic feelings for each other, but her friends kept trying to get us to hook up. It eventually caused her to ask me to stop being her friend. And I felt devastated. I cried. because of bullying as a child, I rarely cry. But, the catch is, that might have been alterous attraction, and I kind of think it was. I would have been willing to date her if she was interested, even though I didn't desire it. So I think I liked her alterously. I think losing her as a friend felt like a breakup. honestly it hit me harder than my breakup with my second girlfriend, who I definitely had feelings of some sort for her. I thought I liked her romantically, but honestly I think it wasn't. I'm not very romantic of a person. So I think I feel alterous attraction only. 

 

[mewix]

14 hours ago, Ashe. said:

we didn't have romantic feelings for each other, but her friends kept trying to get us to hook up.

Sounds well intentioned but honestly a bad move from so called friends of someone I don't get it when people try to hook others up unless they requested it or obviously want that. It's messing with other peoples business in a sort of way.

I guess about jealously yea maybe like ya know if someone is in a romantic relationship I know they have less time for you or withold closeness unless its an open relationship. But overall I do not care if someone is able to make time for you then that is okay I think. I sucks though people don't think certain forms of closeness are legit unless you are coupled.

I also had a situation with a supposed friend who kept promising to hang out with me (from her side) and yet never did. (To put it simply) another person sort of managed to get her to agree to plans  and that gave me a pang of jealousy, although I think even they struggled. Though overall it was more frustration after I felt I put so much into things. Like not even one last meet up or just being able to sit down with a friend and get to know them better outside of the context you met them. It sucks. They were almost always in a hurry and left even while my other friends were not, and one of the times they did come I had to hurry off somewhere. :(