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Do I have commitment issues? I'm confused and in a bit of pain, please help.


kodzuken
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I've been in a few relationships already, and every time I end it by making some excuse like "my parents found out" or "I haven't been in the right state of mind recently," y'know stuff that's all around a bit dumb to break up over...however those are simply half truths. The thing is, I found myself romantically attracted to people, however upon confessing and them saying that they reciprocate my feelings (therefore leading them to ask me out on a date/be in some sort of committed romantic relationship with them), I felt like clawing my way out. It's not the fact that I'm not emotionally mature to handle such a thing like that, it's because I just had the romantic attraction to them simply fade completely upon reciprocation of romantic feelings.

 

This is definitely embarrassing to say, but I have been in numerous relationships where me and a person were merely friends, however we would share sexual relations. Of course, this would never be during a romantic relationship, however I felt way more at ease with that rather than a romantic relationship. It's also not the fact that I wasn't ready to be committed and be there for them at times of need, because I was usually like that when we were still friends and we didn't confess yet. I don't understand what I am and am extremely confused. I have had a boyfriend for the past month, and it feels like I'm forcing myself through the relationship...it's not that I do not love him...it's just the fact that I do not love him romantically anymore.

 

TL;DR

The idea of going on dates and hugging and kissing people in a romantic manner seems so bland to me, however when I gain romantic feelings for a person I suddenly feel that those activities are the best thing to do. However, when those feelings are reciprocated and lands my into a relationship, I'm instantly turned off and am not attracted romantically anymore. Do I have commitment issues, or am I on the aromatic spectrum?

 

If this helps, I usually go be she/her pronouns but I go by any other ones (I don't mind) and am bisexual. 

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What you're describing sounds like lithromantic to me. Lithromantics can experience romantic feelings, but they don't want it reciprocated.

And if you feel like you're forcing yourself through a relationship, I'd suggest you talk it out, and tell your partner what you're feeling, rather than ending it by making excuses. It will help you both understand what the other thinks about the the whole situation, and it'll be easier to resolve it.

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